Benj-

everytime i think about how i might actually not make it, i really get this urge to just run far far far away. i cant face it and i dont know how to either. i dont have a second chance, i either make it or i dont. and what if i dont.


and no i cant envision me not making it and i dont think i could take that sort of helpless, hopeless situation. if that's really the case i think this time i wont live thru it. im quite sure.

i'll try not to think about it though. but i forgot i have one whole day to myself to imagine the worst possible scenario. fuck.

and on a side note. just in case i decide to go try drowning myself in my basin now, i could fit into my pants damn easily today.

WOW