lets see, today's the last day of the year and i have a ton of things left undone. things like smses which i havent replied to while i was in US, update my blog about my trip(which im doing now), holiday homework which i havent touched, tuition schedule yet to be arranged... and so on

okay, so i loved the US, still do and will keep loving it i suppose. even if i were to exclude the crazy shopping that would have never been possible in sg, i would love it just a little less. haha. really, the things they sell at the factory outlets are DIRT CHEAP. and with the christmas sales and all, i just went crazy buying clothes.

i think i bought more than 20 tops and about 3 bottoms. bottoms are really hard to find there cause their sizes are so BIG and long. and they dont seem to fancy slim and skinny fit. im not really into presenting myself in a fatter image than what im already potraying.

haha, you can ask me more about my shopping experience when you see me. i'll be more than glad to reveal my spoils and relate the awesome time i had.

disneyland and universal studios make escape seem like... haha.

another thing i liked about US was the people, even if i was feeling a little inferior at times. i mean talk about courtesy and friendliness. they keep asking how are you and how's your day and stuff. making sure you're thoroughly well serviced and sastisfied all the time. unlike sg, which runs on a unless you can make my day you better just get lost or i'll make a rude sign at you way of life.

and no they dont use vulgarities much here contrary to popular belief.

and being in the US made me realized my english is horrible sub-standard. and i hate singlish even if its suppose to be sg's unique culture. i suppose im the worst, most ungrateful citizen sg has ever had. more reason to hate me i guess. lol

i really like my stay in US and im even contemplating going over for extended stays, maybe overseas studying.

maybe its just a temporary infatuation and i'll just realise my love for sg sometime. but until then im keeping my options open.

okay, so im back.

time to adjust back to reality.

i missed my friends real bad though and so far only lichu knows im back cause she needs her haircut badly. lol.

cant adjust myself to the timezone here.

i miss the US

shit, i think i forgot to include many other things i wanted to talk about, so here's an extension to this already, pretty long post.

for the first time in my life, i had a white christmas! even if it was spent on the bus looking at magnificent mountains, snow caps and frozen cows. it was still a white christmas nonetheless. there wasnt no countdown or huge jingle bells playing whatsoever though. in fact there was hardly any christmas atmosphere.

i guess the christmas spirit manifested in the shops, on huge signs saying "take a further 50% off the lowest price stated". which suffice to say, WORKS FOR ME. HOHOHO

and btw the grand canyon is a huge rip-off. no wonder they called it a wonder, i wonder how it ever became a wonder. oh, look at my repititive effect. haha. but seriously, all i saw was mist and fog. forcibly you could say it has some sort of a mysterious effect, i however, will insist its a RIP-OFF.

i took nearly all the rides at universal studios which wasnt really thrilling really. disneyland rides were juat plain showy and had impossible queues.

right, i think thats all i have to say. vegas was beautiful.

so HAPPY NEW YEAR PPL. its going to be 2009 real soon.

im taking a very long time with the christmas cards. and its quite idiotic to give them out only after christmas. the irritating poser full stop is on my screen again. i cant be bothered to wipe it away.

where was i? oh christmas. i hate not being able to spend it at some bbq with my friends, my only comfort, i just might have a white christmas.

im not done packing with all the toiletries and psp stuff.

im dreading the 18 hours flight. its way too long and i bet when i ask for tomato sauce, they'll just say: "what do you think this is? a restaurant?" again. f them. i hope i sleep most of the hours away.

the tour guide said its going to be cold. i hate cold because i hate wearing long johns. and you wonder why you call those gross inner wear long john and not long ben. HAHA

i hope the fish in my room doesnt die.

honestly im abit afraid of the plane crashing or worst, being hijacked. very scary. i think i'll pack my bible.

i really will miss everyone here.

merry christmas everyone. (:

im leaving in 2 days time. i've got more than 10 tops in my lugagge and im wondering if im being a wee bit kiasu. haha.

i cant wait to be in disneyland! i cant wait to be at universal studios! suddenly im all excited about the US trip. even if i have to leave all my friends behind for christmas. i'll really miss them.

and kell and darren, good luck with your retests!

ARGH.

im feeling very disorientated. the excitement and regret makes me wanna hurl.

lol.

i love grandpa. hahaha, i just had to say that.

i'll pray for your retribution, you good for nothing, son of a bitch. and yes this is a personal attack because you're one hell of a fugly, you pathetic bastard. so give up your antics because the only reason you're able to get hitched is because you bear the uncanny resemblance to that monstrous t-rex which ppl find awesome to gawk and secretly laugh at.

and to your blind, bimbotic, brainless, bitchy, beau. HALLELUJAH!

shit.

haha. i dont usually do this but since its a special circumstance, i guess its okay. besides nothing i said is untrue anyway.

but that aside, yesterday has got to be one of the best and luckiest days i've ever had. it was so great it seemed surreal. thanks erika and yizhen for the fantabulous day ever.

who says escape is boring. it is but not when you have the right ppl to play with.

thank god. and grandpa

ive been spending loads of time with my cousins lately and i cant say i dont enjoy it. but the idea of that happening just never occured to me. i guess i have grandpa to thank. so thank you. and thank you Lord.

went for church service yesterday. and even if everything was in hokien, im glad i was able to finally get to a church. wonderful. and the most impossible thing happened when my mum actually said she is beginning to believe in God, esp after the wake and funeral. i guess god's love works in really wondrous and weird ways. hahaha.

grandpa's temporary tomb is ugly. really. hahaha. i'll be glad to see the proper tomb being erected.

i cant wait for tuesday. esp since i have permission now. hoho.

and i havent finished all my christmas cards. jialat.

shinee was in THAILAND. which means they were about 5 hours away from me. HOW CAN THAT BE. and i didnt know. and i thought thailand was suppose to be real dangerous now, why are they there? come to singapore!! where its safe and where i can see you!

HAHAHA


and shineesubs is back!

gone are the days of depravation. GONE

i shall devote all my time to catching up on the videos.

it was the laokui's reunion today, hahaha. i cant say how much ive missed them. the laughter, jokes and everything funny. of course our most famous laokui-ing. dont know what i'll do without them.

and its been ages since i last saw the usuals too.

thanks ff for going christmas shopping with me today. it was really sastisfying doing retail therapy and im sorry if you followed me around without getting anything. i'll treat you to a lunch buffet someday. woah. hahaha

i really blown every last cent. if i do go to escape next week, i'll sneak in thru some sewer hole. does singapore have them? no? then maybe pipes? shit no, i'll just cause a nationwide chokage. and be charged for being too fat and stuffing the waterways up

okok, what im trying to say is i have no money and im fat.

so much for beating around the bush.

hahaha

im pissed cause i typed my post halfway and it deleted itself.

fuck.

urgh, okay i'll type again

i spent alot of money today.

i feel stupid cause i actually typed this alr. but actually if i didnt say, no one would actually know. shit.

and there's this comma that refuses to be backspaced. and i press it alot of times alr. oh its dirt. shit.

eh but im not as blur as ff

benj# grandpa's boy
relax
benj# grandpa's boy
and repeat after me
❤ yizhen
omg
❤ yizhen
omg
❤ yizhen
omg
benj# grandpa's boy
hello
❤ yizhen
hello
benj# grandpa's boy
im
❤ yizhen
im
benj# grandpa's boy
stupid
❤ yizhen
stupid

HAHAHAHAHA

kboxed today with the gang. and its been ages since i last saw them and being with them is still like old times. i think there's this really special thing about us meeting in once in a blue moon but acting like we saw each other everyday.

its nice

spent a bomb on psp and ps2 stuff in msia yesterday. and i spent 100 dollars on my brother's and sister's christmas presents. so now i feel like a pauper, not that its any different from other days. but its worse now, im like a poor penniless pauper. wow, the alliteration.

i think my sister can be a real bitch sometimes. she really gets on my nerves and sits on them all day long. which is really irritating really. but then again, i guess all siblings will tend to infuriate one another. i should really control my temper.

i miss my class. i miss how we are always looking for places to eat after school. and most of all, i miss friday cartels. i dont miss school though. in fact i wish sch was gone, burnt to crisp in some fire or something and do us all a favour

dear grandpa, mum and aunt are still always in tears when they think about you. can you do something to lessen their grief?

dear god, oo, haha, thank you for answering my prayer. i didnt agree with the suppose to payback thing though.

spent the entire day out with my family today. i tried being a little more jovial and reasonable. and i guess it worked out kinda okay. went to visit grandma as usual and i actually wished she was staying with us.

im sure that would make you happy grandpa.

i still havent gotten my mum a birthday gift and there are tons of christmas presents that i havent bought. hey ff are you free to go get them?

there's a stack of christmas cards awaiting me so i better get started.

dear grandpa, grandma asked me if you came to visit me cause you met her in her dreams. but i know thats only cause she isnt christian and she doesnt understand im always communicating with you still

dear god, i still wished i was closer to you. and please make me go to church.

The rules and regulations:
Each player starts off with 10 weird things about/habit/little known facts.
Tag 10 people.

1. I hate myself, but its not a little known fact is it?
2. I like standing at the balcony when there's a thunderstorm and feel the wind and rain hit my face.
3. I think sleep is a waste of time even if i sleep a lot
4. I hate using my brains.
5. I sometimes pretend im a star(not literally).
6. I dont believe in more than one romance.
7. I think i can feel supernatural beings.
8. I always imagine a situation in which i have to jump in front of someone to save them from a bullet. but its always, "aiya, see how la"
9. I remember things from very long ago but cant rmb what i had for lunch this aft.
10.I actually did this because im so into my blog now i just wanna post and post and post. shh



yings: haha, are you sure its that funny? or do you just have a weird sense of humour? but im glad you found it entertaining. (:

naz: hey you! i never got a chance to see you. my fault sorry. and yes i miss you too. i'll send you an email soon!

yizhen: lol somehow i knew you were going to say that. anyway, haha you are the best ff ever too who keeps having the delusion that you're fat. so actually you're a tf(thin friend). lol. thanks, i think im okay.

yang: thanks auntie, i always knew you were watching my back. yup, im sure the both of them mut be complaining about how naughty we were back then. hahaha. and thanks, i'm just glad to know he's in heaven.

yeah, im not exactly sure why i made my blog a private one.

its just a mood thing i guess

or maybe i just no longer see a need to express myself to others but rather a need to reorganize and make sense of my own thoughts.

and i would like to type what i really feel instead of paraphrasing and euphemising everything.

there's this thing about sincerity that encompasses tactlessness and honesty, sometimes, i think.

haha.

i never thought blogger pre-loaded skins were so appealing. there's something really enticing about simplicity. i think its suppose to reflect my some subconcious desire for things to be simplified and all that jibberjabber. haha

and to those who still take time to read this blog, thanks for willing to listen to the incessant ravings of a not so okay person. lol. and sorry i dont know how to stick the old tagboard here so you'll have to make do with the comments function

dear grandpa, having you in heaven makes me feel very safe because i know you are there watching over me. somehow i feel even closer to you than before. thank god. and thank you. (:

dear god, i wish i was closer to you.

because im in a foul mood and i need to release my pent-up frustrations,

i shall give flirts/assholes a piece of my mind.

DAMN you.
and have a happy life filled with shit and all things nasty.
when you walk you step on stool
when you run you stumble and fall
when you sleep you drown in your own drool
anything you do, may disaster and misfortune fall
upon you.

ah what a delightful way to channel negative energy.

wouldnt you agree ff? hahaha.

i think i need to keep my temper in check.

so its been 5 days since grandpa passed away. attempting to describe the sorrow i feel would be futile so i wont.

but i know i will miss him for the longest time. knowing that he will no longer be a part of my life really makes me upset. and i feel guilty for grumbling about how we have to visit my grandparents' home every saturday. for not appreciating the grandparent that i've always admired in those storybooks who dote on their grandchildren like nobodys business, because he did.

i find myself loved by the dozens but find myself reciprocating nothing.
but lets not make this about me.

so here's my final tribute to ah gong, for being the most endearing, wonderful, amazing and cute grandfather of mine. i love you. very much. and i hope that you will enjoy the rest of eternity with god in heaven. you deserve it.

i miss you.

ah gong, i miss you. i really do

while giving erika a dressing down on how she should just stop letting her thoughts wander. and rmbing how lichu has the exact same problem. i cant help but realize how ironical(or hypocritical) that i suffer from the exact same problem and the near impossibility of extricating myself while going on and on about how they shouldnt do that.

i wonder what sort of person ppl see me as, sometimes.

the mind is a wondrous thing indeed.

NOT.

and ive got to admit, even though shinee is the best, most fabulous band ive ever known, it gets kinda boring listening to the same songs over and over again.
and i cant watch their videos anymore cause stupid youtube banned the account

urgh


lichu: hahaha your hair was okay after all right. see i told you so. and we should have another shopping trip again when we really actually BUY something. and we should go christmas shopping too man.

angel: oh, i nearly did, i was sitting on the floor and my eyes were just wide open and i got a serious case of goosebumps. SUPER scary. and damn wierd too. so yours also spoil ar? or really got smth. EE. HAHAHA. haha oh and it was cool meeting you that day (:

lummie: YAH, like wahlao, stupid scary drawer gave me the fright of my life lah. i really thought got ghost or smth. HAHAHA eh you felt earthquake b4! damnsian, i didnt feel it. HAHAHA. okay im abit mad and i havent seen you in ages..

oh, my butt hurts.

oh, my legs are sore.

oh, im so tired

oh, today has to be one of the best day of my life

oh

so its not that bad after all.

even if the weather was oh so bad.

hahahaha

was about to look for a new blogskin but while browsing thru the countless full of nonsense crap i gave up. then went back to look at my skin and realize there cant be a more accurate representation of me. that big fat lizard you see there. the only thing wrong being the two words that says "love him". too bad i cant change it if not it would be "beware, mons on the loose" haha

i guess thats just the way i am.

and im sick of it too.

lol.

i hate the hols, then again i find myself helpless without it.

mmhmm.

allow me to tell you a scary story, well even if you dont allow, i'll tell it anyway.
haha.

because of my ailing mother who is putting discreetly, currently not in her full strength, so being the extremely good son(my foot), i decided to help pack her room. of which i may add is a nearly unsurmountable task which requires me to trek over mountains of clothes, oceans of bedlinen and rivers of toys and milk bottles.

in the end, however, i managed the impossible making the room spick and span.

but to my horror, there was this drawer which remained left open. so i closed it and went on to continue picking up the nitty gritties. then i looked at the room again and saw that darn drawer opened again. i could have sworn i closed it but attributing it to my horribly failing memory, i decided to just ignore it and close it again.

and then as i was about to leave the room, everything was in place. that drawer was opened again.

something was very wrong.

so i closed the drawer and this time sat in front of the drawer to see what was wrong.

.

..

...

....

AND IT JUST BURST OPEN!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!





okok, so i may be a little extreme it didnt burst open lah.

but honestly, it really did move a little and then gradually open. which is really very terrifying for someone who was watching slowly and then seeing it slowly opening.


VERY FRIGHTENING.

oh i forgot to add a resolution, so actually

is the cupboard spoil lah.

hahaha,

but it was scary right.

anyway, today was fun shopping with lichu. hahaha, it was long overdue. even if we both had exhaustion creeping upon us. and lichu doesnt like her hair. hahaha, i think its ok lah.

and on a side note, my dad bought me a 8 gig memory card for the psp. really nice so now i can have more sleepless nights. not that im not thankful. hahaha, and im NOT being sarcastic

i dont know. but im tired of any emotional baggage i have been carrying for what seems like the longest time. i know i always lived by the one principle about follwing your heart, as corny as it may sound.

and im not regretting anything or am i wishing everything would have happened otherwise.

but sometimes i wish ben would just do away with all those jazz and just get on with life like a normal person would. worrying about Alevels, worrying about good scores, worry about the car i'll be driving, the job i'll have, blah blah etc etc.

im quite tired of dealing with everything that has to do with feelings. and i wished i relished those days when everything was numb.

feelings are overrated. for me at least.

things would be so much simpler if giving girls spa boiled eggs and old man pieces of gold would constitute the bulk of my life and whatever time i have left, i spend brushing my sheeps and cows and talking to them.

fantasy was always my kind of thing

when i plugged in my ipod in what seems like the longest time ever, ive realized my taste in music has changed in the strangest ways.

like how my first favourite song was from ateens who disbanded. i think. but at that time cant help falling in love with you was always in my head. hahaha

and then it was the sclub season, woah, in fact i still like them. again, another band which broke up. bah. never had a dream come true is still a classic "emo" piece. i think. hahaha

then it was cyndi wang age i think, cause of my sister who made me listen to honey. when you have to listen to it everytime you're in the car you sort of get hooked on it too. no matter how weird it sounds when i go "honey, honey"
urr...
waha.

and then the rnb age, woah, destiny's child, rihanna, jojo, mario vazquez and blah blah, then it sort of merged with mainstream pop, hahahaha. i still rmb how seriously odd everytime i sang buttons by the pussycat dolls.
real freaky. wahaha

AND THEN DBSK!!! which was seriously all naz's fault. hahaha, i still rmb hearing rising sun in the woodlands library for the first time and hooked ever since.

oh which means it was the kpop/jpop age already.
wah hen kuai.
hahahaha

the dbsk craze went on for so long i swear i can sing more than 10 songs in jap already. hahahaha.

AND last but not least, SHINee!! hahahaha, which was liying's fault.
omg, im afraid of starting an entire tirade of shinee. so better stop here

hahahaha.

okay fine i know this stuff is totally boring. but i feel like i just have to type this.



anyway, im still playing the psp but im getting really bored of the Polly pocket like characters with disproportionate heads and bodies, who never ever change their clothes, ee. and then i cast so many spells until i started casting them in my dream too.
which is taking it abit too far.

wingardium leviosa!

urr...


hahahahaha

lichu: how come? everyone's getting stomach problems, kell too, this is bad, take care of yourself okay. the weather has been really cold. hahaha. i say it like its a bad thing. lets go shop soon! once you're more free (:

cheryl k: HEY! wah long time no see! congrats in enduring that awful on hell of a shitty Alevels! lets have lots of fun now! hahaha, yeah kbox! OOOOO! and we can play that new game you devised!

okay, math tuition in 15 mins. new tutor and all, not exactly the ideal way to start a sunday. i say start, because i woke up at 12, hahaha. ah whatever, i just hope the tutor doesnt laugh at my hopelessly futile math power because according to me, 8 divided by 2 is E+3.

WAHA

ive decided to go on a crash diet again which means my precious 10 dollars that i spent buying some sumptous famous amos cookies will go to waste. the littlemisses are about to finish their Alevels, heh, that would mean more kboxing activities in time to come. oooo. hahaha

im really not looking forward to math tuition. ee.

and somehow, i dont know how exactly, things are different already. i think. and its not really agreeing with me, just like how yest's porridge is churning in my stomach now. hahaha, what a fantastic anology.

waha.

haha shit, okay, i know i've been obsessing over SHINee like for the longest time alr. and suddenly i just feel like i've got to admit dbsk's voices are stronger. okay there, i said it.

bah, now i feel like i've let SHINee down.

but i still like shinee more! WOOOOOO

and, its back to harvest moon now. im kinda tired of swinging and slashing away at monsters that look like cat fishes gone wrong and ugly pig like monsters that resembles me.

lol

omf, shineesubs account got suspended! and where the hell will i get to watch shinee eng subbed videos on youtube. THE HORROR. how can this actually happen? WHY?? those blind, cockeyed, stupid, brainless idiots should just go bug some other copyright infringing stuff you know and just leave shinee alone. urgh.

and suddenly i feel so deprived.

AH.

sl yesterday, and i never thought i'll say this but recess should be banned, at least in ntps it should. and they should focus more on languages because the children were communicating in shrieks. and trust me, young boys have amazingly high voices. ANYWAY, hahaha, other than that, it was great spending time with the kids.

lunch and arcade after with 1408. which was real enjoyable.

it was hopscotch with erika and ff later and ben and jerry after. which was again all lessthanthree.

i was dead tired when i got home. and of course when you're forced to watch JoJo's circus just to keep your sister entertained, you will fall asleep. because it is absolutely boing to hear how jojo has a pet lion called goliath. and btw, goliath doesnt eat ppl, so apparently the kids program is all for keeping lions as pets.

poppycock!

HAHAAHAHA

anyway, it was great to spend the day out.

and yizhen's good news is hardly good news. in fact i swear next year will be an extremely unpleasant one. god bless me.

and im going to ostracize youtube. BAH

chenting: NO! shinee looks good with or without hair. they are just that good! HAHAHA but yes, i would like them with hair too. lol. ooo, okay, you can stow me away on some ship and send me to korea! hehehe

yizhen: omg, yizhen, didnt i tell you, im with shinee now! you are going to see less and less of me, im very busy listening to them recording their all new album, oh but im trying to convince them to sg so i can meet up with you all! update you soon!!
HAHA!!!!

im feeling a need to rant.

*#*#&#^@&@**#^$*@(@)*^*&^@*(*@&^%*
#^$(*&@$@*$@^%(*@*$$*$!*)$*%$&*(#@&%*@*%
@$*(@$**(!&$*!$*(#@&%$(*@$@*$R#*%(&#*%#*%(#%#
@(&*(@&$(@&@&$&@%Y@*#!#!_@!
!%$^$&!$*@(*!($

well, if you were a victim of my continuous ranting, you would probably understand the whole SIGN language. yeah, its a pun, to express the mounting feelings of discontent and frustration.

not to mention a whole lot of angry.

hahaha shit. okay. enough ranting.

SHINee news time. the upcoming, or rather already widely popular korean pop band has just had a video for their latest song AMIGO. at this point in time, i guess the most appropriate reaction would be, WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

and wtf, you know they have the karaoke version in their "kboxes" alr. and stupid pathetic, lousy, deprived singapore still thinks fergalicious is New. wth. why didnt i treasure my time in Korea. ah.

fri was kinda nice i guess. if only we could have spent the time looking for blah, looking at new clothes instead. or maybe went kbox singing or something, or even watch hsm3.

if i could sum up my life with three letters it would simply have to be

KNS

something's wrong with me today. and im too old to blame it on raging hormones, i think. short fuses, quick temper, sharp language and monosyllabic things have the least association with me. but today i manage to achieve all of that.

i would like to say im nothing but a F*ed up mistake whose life is one mistake after another. this repititive pattern ultimately manifests into a damned creature whose sole purpose in life is to bring misery to everyone including himself.

i should probably clarify that im not a nobody. because a monster isnt nobody, a monster is something worse than a nobody.

the word exist should not even exist in my vocabulary..

the more appropriate and suitable words would be annihilate, extinction, plague, bane, and any other degratory terms you can pile on me. heaps and heaps of them.

sorry world.

owing to the morbid and distasteful nature of the post, i shall attempt to paraphrase it in a more comical manner

if benjamin were in a movie,
he would play the character that everyone runs away from, he would be the best zombie with a man-eating score of 24978253789283. he will of course in the end be vanquish by the classic hero, dying a gruesome death that is all so gratifying to the viewers, who will cheer when he's gone.

if benjamin's life were a book,
it would be priced at a all new record breaking price of 10c who will be sold by the peddlar who sits there selling similar items like a paper clip from 1973 and a staple from 1876(they are all the same, rubbish), of which a awfully kind soul will buy out of goodwill. he will then throw the book away in the next ten seconds, at the same time cursing and swearing that he was idiotic enough to buy it.

if benjamin were a drink,
it would be the next biochemical weapon developed by terrorists to destroy the whole world. it would start a worldwide epidemic that turns everyone into me(the horror). you would see my name on testube bottles in secret laboratories that says incurable terminal disease only to realise that the cure simply requires you to wish really hard that benjamin will disappear.*wish*wish*wish* tadahh

if benjamin were a nightmare,
wait. i already am.


hahaahahahaha

lets not talk for another week. i will enjoy it very much.

haha

"It's OK, Euphe. Someday you'll have a ponytail as beautiful as mine."


very funny. really

AMIGO!!

HAHAHAHA omg. SHINee's repackaged album song!!!

shitshitshit.

i want the album now.

anyway, as hard as it is to deviate from talking about SHINee, i've been rotting away at home like nobody's business. sleeping at 5 and waking up at 2. wah gross.

good luck to ya'll taking chinese tmr! HWAITING

i wish i was in korea. ahhhh..

yizhen: hahaha actually you never used the F word much leh. less than the no. of fingers i have anyway. hahahaha. good luck for tmr okay! HWAITING!!

if i would describe the week with a single word, it would have to be fuck. but since im on a no f*** policy, i shall just make do with backside. of course ff doesnt quite agree.

going back to school always makes me feel better. sometimes i think 14 is abit of a drug, you will suffer from withdrawal symptoms after prolonged absence. of course not everyone would concur but thats what 14 is to me anyway.

lets avoid friday.

it seems to be ages since i last went out with, kell, lichu and jere. AGES, especially chu. we have to go out sometime!

oct is coming to an end.

im just.. disillusioned.

chenting: of course! i and liying are absolute SHINee fans. okay maybe she's more dbsk but nvm. we both like SHINee anyway. and stupid orangpoonchit, he's always like that. hahaa. nvm, SHINee will rock even if they are bald although i like them better with hair.

(fake)SHINee backside: you cant be shinee backside. shinee backside is too good to be true.

yang: hahaha that was just plain vulgur. aiya, friday!! not sat. every sat i have to go visit my grandmama. tell me about sian.

my quote for yesterday: "you asked for it", in chinese, it would be "zi zao".

well my mum had to go and make a big fuss about how the house was messy. and being the paranoid one she just had to go pack the entire house. and after feeling exhausted from packing, summoned me and my sister so that she can scream at us and feel much better.

maybe in the past i would have kept my mouth shut and just let her go on and on. but too bad, she isnt the only one who has feelings.

ANYWAY. before she had to go and ruin a perfectly fine day,

i was catching butterfly lovers with carine and ff.

butterfly lovers + rainy day + long ride on train = ultimate emo day

hahaha. well it was quite cool how we were feeling moppy after the show and how the weather was reflecting it.

the show was really good if not for the very predictable parts. and like ff says, i wish the bad guy would just get a life you know? quit being such a desperate ass whose goal in life is to make everyone else's a living hell. B A H

on a side note, the butterflies damn fake please.

hahahaha

im feeling very odd these few days. cant really say what it is but it seems alot like a lack of motivation to live. its like everything is.... empty.

ah well, maybe SHINee will fill it up. hahaha

i dedicate this post to SHINee!!!!! WOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO

yesterday i had a dream about SHINee!! i couldnt remember what it was about though but the point is i had a dream about SHINee!! omg... its like better that winning 4D!
no wait actually 4D would be better cause then i can use the money to immigrate to korea and i can have greater chances of meeting them. anyway. I HAD A DREAM ABOUT SHINee!!

bloody hell, there's no more SHINee Yunhanam alr!!! F F F F F F!

and why is big bang coming to singapore but not SHINee!? why is it so unfair? but nvm i want to go to korea and meet them. its more authentic that way. HOHO.

SHINee is going to have a new repackaged album at the end of this month!!! oh wait i alr said this. HECK. did you know SHINee is going to have a new repackaged album at the end of this month??!! with a whole new song!!!

shineerocksshineerocksshineerocksshineerocksshineerocksshineerocksshineerocksshineerocks

if there isnt anything i would give to live just like them. okay no, there are somethings that i wouldnt give. but everything else i would give. WHY CANT I BE DAMN GOODLOOKING WITH A DAMN GOOD VOICE AND A KOREAN AS WELL!!??

oh cause then i would be something perfect like shinee and not big fat NOBODY ben.

B A H


yizhen: hah, you say one arh, once my voice recover we'll go again arh! and omg what innocent and nice?? have you ever seen a monk eat charsiewrice? dont have right, so confirm no yizhen that's nice and innocent one. HAHAHA. aiya yizhen, you're like the laokui queen lah. hahaha you should be use to it by now. hahhaa "wo mei you kan dao." HAHAHA. im online now and you just ask me to watch shinee vids! HAHAHAHA

yang: hahaha true, i was never one for much F***. lolll. hahaha. more impactful?? lol, in a bad way right. and clara, the way you say that sounds very... HA HA HA. you know. LOLLLL

wah sian. now im back to sounding like (aaaaaaa aaaaaaaa) when i sing high. yeah there's really a blank space or rather a raspy hoarse sound. i would like to cuss.

BACKSIDEBUTTOCKSASSHOLEBUTTASS@%@#^$&@*@#^!%#@^$*@$(@$*%

its back to screaming into the pillow, just sounding awfully weird and creating alot of noise pollution. i just hope the neighbours dont call the police.

hanging out and kbox with erika and ff on friday. lunch and kbox were the main highlights of the day. and erika dancing to Ai Ni was just undescribably funny. i never enjoyed myself so much before. really. and yizhen was all seductive and sexy dancing to mr q. HAHAHA

what would i do without this comic relief in my life i dont know. hahaha

yizhen: please, F*** definitely more vulgur! hahaha oh wait you're the Ultimate lian no wonder you dont think that way la. HAHAHA.

jere: hahaha, whatever! big papa still sucks! stop calling me that arh. later i ask mythusters to catch you. the elusive but hard to hide cause of the poonchit:the orang poonchit. HAHAHAHAHA!

i hate losing my voice really. all those effort into trying to reach those impossibly high notes begin to come into a semblance of fruition. then all of a sudden you're back to this pseudo-sexy voice which is actually not sexy at all.

WAHHPIANGGEHHH.

kbox will just have to wait.

i need to come up with a new swear word. fuck is a tad bit too vulgur as clara noticed. hmm i'll go with 'backside' then since yizhen says im obsessed with them anyway. HAHA!

did you know,
SHINee is going to release a new repackaged album with an entirely new song and as usual Stupid Slow Sucky Singapore wont have it in like 7328921476324982347 years.

buttocks.

and talking about SHINee just triggers this need for a endless tirade of OOOs and AAAs and a whole lot of idolatry related confabulation which ends of with a frightful desire to just immigrate to korea and meet them.

which essentially just says...

quit dreaming.

ASS.

school is getting more bearable if it wasnt for the fact that im wheezing away like nobody's business

talking to erika about the past has really put it in a half hilarious half morbid perspective. the result, ben's past = some half rated horror chick flick drama series

the image it produces: House Bunny running away from Jason from Friday the thirteenth


AAAAAAAHHHH!! oh shit are my boobs showing? AAAAHHHHHH!!!







im cominggg. *evil cackles*




not funny okay. not if you're House Bunny anyway.

HAHAHAHA.

bye!

clara: hahaha yah lor. but it feels kind of gratifying using it. which is kinda bad. HAHA. next week!! meet up soon!

jere: wah you stoppit arh. wah big papa now bear. you orang poonchit just go terrorize some poor helpless village lah. hahahaa

when they all come at the same time; cough, running nose, blocked nose and headaches. its almost as if like im the epitome of ILL. maybe they should have a new definition for the word "unwell". something like, ben when he's sick. harharhar.

its the medicine that causes incoherence.

regrettably, the past week has been quite trying. somehow things are just different, its like losing the drive to live.. everything is bland and uninteresting. not to mention the great miasma of depression that's settling over our heads.

anyway i wanna curse at this stupid taxi driver who's such an asshole he can just go put his face in the toliet bowl. the excruciatingly slow pace he was moving so that we stopped at every single traffic light. fuck. and in the end from lot 1 to my house cost 10 freaking dollars. not taking how his entire car stank with the smell of smoke which just set me into whole new course of wheezing.


BAHHHHHHH

im in a horrible mood. really

its sort of an unexpressable feeling. and since its unexpressable i dont think i'll be able to express it. so nvm. haha

i still dont really have much to say...

anyway, friday was cartel. this is gramatically incorrect but i dont really care. its been really long since we had friday cartels but somehow the feeling just wasnt right. oh went out with lichu b4 that to find basic tees at topman. i realize we are always shopping tgth. hahaha. and lichu keeps mimicking me you know. WAAAHHH. HAHAHA

im kinda desperate for kbox now. because its the only time when i just stop thinking about anything except how horrible i sound. bah.

i have a runny nose and my throat feels horrible. my room's a mess and my head hurts. im in a very foul mood. hopefully lunch is something nice. or i'll just explode.

lichu: hhahaha yeah. i must disprove your theory although i think now you're quite right, im blogging because im in a foul mood. hahahaha.

yizhen: hahaha cause you say the funniest things. and yes you ARE weird. hahaha. and i dont have anything laokui. haaa. HAHAHAHA the "haaa" sounds so funnyy

me(jeremy wimala wei quan): you just want me to write your name for you right? BAH. hahaha. stop calling me big papa arh wait i call you orang poonchit then you know. im tall and amazingly thin papa. that one can. hahaha

i wish.

i really dont have much to say. but i will definitely be praying very hard for all of you. things will just be meaningless without any of you. so dont lose hope. really

when yizhen and i talk on msn.

❤ yizhen says:
im going to ignore you
❤ yizhen says:
*ignoring in process*
❤ yizhen says:
*im still ignoring you*
❤ yizhen says:
*oi say smth while i ignore you*
benj# hwaiting! says:
HAHAHAHAHA omg that is funny!
❤ yizhen says:
*hahah no its not im ignoring u ure supposed to feel sad wth!*

she says this sort of weird things that just make me double up laughing. FF you crack me up seriously.

i just felt this incessant need to blog, to talk about stupid dumb stuff. like how i spend the entire day just doing nothing. i realized i like the porridge i made but the pot sucks because its not non-stick anymore. so that would make it a sticky pot. i think. and then bits of black colour stuff was floating around in my half cooked rice. ee

anyway, i added like chicken strips into my porridge and a considerable amount of conpoy. HA bet you dont know what that is. did you know that the vegetarian bovril rocks? i added alot too.

in the end my porridge turned out wonderfully delicious that i finished it all(i was suppose to seperate it into two portions). it was however this weird brownish colour which made it kinda ugly to look at but nvm. it tasted great.

and then in the evening i became hungry again so i decided to make a sandwich with the bread my sister just bought. which i wasnt suppose to use cause she's using it for home econs tmr. ah i miss home econs. anyway, yah i didnt care. i just made the sandwich. and then i salvaged whatever i could from the fridge and decided to put ham and cheese. i applied a generous amount of choc stripe peanut butter as well. so in the end the sandwich tasted sweet, sticky and salty at the same time.

okay fine maybe it sounds a little bit gross but it was fantastic. really.

lets see, what else happened...

my dog bit my chair. stupid dog.

it rained today.

dinner sucked. yay

i slept in the aft.

i lost to the undead. urgh

okay enough nonsense.

i feel sick and i dont like this kind of days. there's school tmr. woo.

byebye

everytime i think about how i might actually not make it, i really get this urge to just run far far far away. i cant face it and i dont know how to either. i dont have a second chance, i either make it or i dont. and what if i dont.


and no i cant envision me not making it and i dont think i could take that sort of helpless, hopeless situation. if that's really the case i think this time i wont live thru it. im quite sure.

i'll try not to think about it though. but i forgot i have one whole day to myself to imagine the worst possible scenario. fuck.

and on a side note. just in case i decide to go try drowning myself in my basin now, i could fit into my pants damn easily today.

WOW

again, i left my tagboard unreplied.

here goes.

ying: i dont come up with luffable stuff! they are just funny. hahahaha. and next time you quote i shall charge you 10 dollars per letter. hohoho.

chenting: hey ting! sorry this came so late but i did see it at that point in time and i really appreciate it. yup hrd work, i'll try not to think about it so much anymore. LOL was my face that scary?

lummie: hey lummie! haha. thankyou! and good luck to you too! and lets go out sometime soon again ok? chem is okay lah but yeah it sucked. HAHAHA

angel: thanksalot. really X)

yizhen: yizhen yizhen yizhen yizhen yizhen yizhen yizhen yizhen yizhen yizhen. bah, why your name no short form one. cusscusscuss. HAHAHAHA. hey ff like damn long never talk to you alr. bahh and yes you will.

chenting: hahaha i only speak facts so you better be careful. HAHAHAHA. you're engaged!! LOL. and yes your pet phrase sounds like something out from jurassic park. LOL!!

angel: hey sexyy.. HAHAHAHA. and that day was fantabulous. lets meet up more!

lichu: yah thats why, not like you very studious anyway. AHAHAHAHA. kdkd. and see i proved you wrong. HOHOHO.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tmr is monday. not monday monday you know. but monday.

hahaha chu has been complaining about how blogs are meant just for ranting and that we dont blog when we have nothing to grouse about. hahaha so im here to prove her wrong. lol

and btw, on my dashboard there's this profile thing. so it has this photo thing which just displays some random outline. AND bloody hell, the outline looks like me. what in the 'photo'. lol

i had a dream about lit yesterday, it was quite weird really and i was at this school camp at this awesome sch too.

anyway.

last friday was fantabulous. the last day of the exams and a great time out with the Usuals.

tuesday was outing with angeline. again fantabulous. of course the psycho killer thriller movie was kinda spine-chilling and the ahpek's fart was just.. just.. FUNNY. hahahah. then celebrated ying's birthday with lummie at night. HAPPY 18th ying!

thurs. ah, sandcastle building. its like cashing in on this 4d ticket, 1408. its a grander prize than a million dollars. after all money gets spent but happy memories like that you keep for life.
of course the million dollars would have helped when i was shopping at topman later. hahaha. the jerseys were effing cheap please

























haha, grand prize!

dont talk about friday. its mother fucking pissing me off.
sorry im not a profanities person but i just feel this need to cuss

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SHOPPING/TRAIN/BUS/LRT/laughandlaokuilikemad KAKEE! hahaha. sorry erika for not being able to celebrate it with you. will make it up one way or another la. hahaha. HAPPY 17th!!!

ah so my week's break has come to an end. happiest week i've had in a long time. thankyou Lord. thankyou

1) The person who tagged: yizhen

2) Your relationship with him/her is: FFs!

3) Your five impressions of him/her:
1. nice
2. still nice
3. still nice
4. okay lah, very nice
5. eh enough alr arh.

4) The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
i guess it would be following me all the way to like cck and then later wasting time at woodlands just 4 days before promos.

5) The most memorable thing he/she had said to you:
"then i satellite cups"

6) If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
be asleep

7) If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
when i wake up already then i tell you.

8) If he/she become your enemy, you will:
be her enemy lah. duh

9) If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be:
cause she dont like me? duh..

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
die. cause im a lousy friend you know. or a slimming belt, she just asked

11) Your overall impression of him/her is:
singtel, starhub, M1. hahaha. maybe a kindred spirit?

12) How you think people around you will feel about you?:
awful

13) The characteristics you love of yourself are:
how i dont love myself

14) On the contrary, the characteristics you hate of yourself are:
everything else

15) The most ideal person you want to be is:
nobody, but i really want to be a singer too.

16) For people who cares and likes you, say something to them:
bad taste. tsktsk. but thanks all the same

17) Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you:
this is in no order of anything.

1. Yizhen!
2. Lichu
3. Kellie
4. Chenting
5. Clara
6. Shitien(if not your mould might just be the next cure for aids)
7. Angeline(after your exams please. lol)
8. Yingying
9. Angela(if you do read this)
10. LUMMIE(but your blog is like non existent)


The below questions are available for further use should anyone chance upon it and wish to make use of it.

18) Who is no.6 having relationship with: (shitien) hah, i dont know. really

19) Is no.9 a male or female?: (angela) female. though there are people who would argue that

20) If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good things? (angeline and lummie): there's no such thing as A good thingS

21) *Missing question* what in the world.

22) What is no.2 studying about? (lichu): not studying. exams over

23) When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? (kellie): since after chem. sian

24) What kind of music band does no.8 like? (yingying): nursery rhymes. its a small small world, twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are, doe a deer a female deer.. aiya you get the point.

25) Does no.1 have any siblings? (yizhen): yeah, who according to her is annoying and he took her bear.

26) Will you woo no.3? (kellie): omg. no.

27) How about no.7? (angeline): who would want a nobody?

28) Is no.4 single? (chenting): no, she's engaged to jere.

29) What is the surname of no.5? (clara): Yeo. she used to make jokes about yeo drinks

30) What's the hobby of no.4? (chenting): going AHHHHHH AH AH!

31) Does no.5 and 9 get along well? (clara and angela): i dont know i ask. eh 5, you like 9? dont know leh, no reply.

32) Where is no.2 studying at? (lichu): in sch, duh.

33) Talk something casual about no. 1? (yizhen): lets lose weight!

34) Have you tried developing feelings for no.8? (yingying): i shudder.

35) Where does no.9 live at? (angela): home? duh

36) What colour does no.3 like? (kellie): pink.

37) Are no.5 and 1 best friends? (yizhen and clara): wait arh, i ask.

38) Does no.1 have any pets? (yizhen): better not. later she eats it

39) Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? (angeline): 7 is a number, not a person.

i really very nearly broke down when my tuition teacher suddenly said she couldnt come. all of a sudden, all the questions i have to ask are simply left hanging. i mean seriously, what am i suppose to do now? i feel so helpless and hopeless. i really cant take this anymore.

math was bad in itself already. and all i can do is pray and hope that i'll scrap i through.

no, im not okay.

im not in the least bit okay.

i thank all of you for being concerned and my parents for being so understanding that they never ever gave me any pressure. i really appreciate it.

but im really not okay.

i wont make it.

i really wont make it.

you probably think im procrastinating but im not. i simply feel so overwhelmed that i can no longer think straight anymore. my mind is this constant flux and im breaking down at all the wrong moments. everynight im plagued by a myriad of dreams that are so utterly bizarre yet at the same time strangely satisfying. i really dread waking up. like yesterday night, there was this leopard that wanted to maul me. hohoho. so exciting

im looking forward to maths exam tmr actually. looking forward to waking up at 6 and doing the most routine thing in the world; going to school. i have no idea why.

i find silence extremely comforting and horribly empty.

the weather has been very reflective of my current state of emotions. the sudden downpour that just happened and that big assed thunderstorm on mon morning. in fact the thunderstorm made me so happy i went to my balcony to enjoy the frightful wind, the loud booms booms and the flashes of white. at like 2 am in the morning mind you. haha

i love the bad weather.

in some ways, im thankful for the exams. because in that neither short nor long span of time, i was able to just focus solely on one thing. i didnt have time to ponder over other nonsense, i didnt have time to evaluate my self worth, yadah yadah.. all i had to do was focus and just think how best to answer the question.

yeah, my fingers are still smarting with pain when i write but it feels good. no, im not masochistic but the pain helps take my mind of things. really.

school works for me as well. im kind of glad people arent easily affected by bad vibes, our class is still as hyper as can be. and i just cant help but smile and laugh at their antics. carolyn and her fei mu, which i still have no clue about its meaning. and jeremy who was blowing air on me after gp ended. what in the world.

hahaha.

there's no sch tmr.

im kind of afraid you know. every day just gets harder and harder.

how do i put it? the past 4 days have been excruciatingly hard to bear, pardon the melodrama but really... i think i would truely be better off dead. urgh. im fast approaching 19 and yet im still stuck in some sort of angsty teenage timeframe refusing to grow up.

this life really isnt meant for me. i cant take this mundane shit. i cant take these do or die situations. what if i really flunk out the promos? what if i dont make it.


if only i stayed at some sort of high rise building. so high that when i jump i wouldnt feel a thing.

i would like to thank carine and ff for caring so. i really appreciate your care and concern. im really sorry for not reciprocating, it must make you all feel shitty right? sorry im such a shithole.

this is very worrying. i dont really feel scared for the promotionals. maybe im just going to flunk out everything. and its not helping really when i watch people my age performing concerts and everything. some are more than 2 years my junior mind you. i am of course referring to SHINee

i mean apart from their all too perfect voices and refreshing, innocent image, i still can get over the fact that the oldest is like only what, 19? wtf.

life's unfair isn't it. im stuck with boring books and bloody exams. and then there are those who have perfect skin, perfect looks who are singing and dancing their life away.

why wouldnt be the life of a entertainer be meant for me. okay fine, im ugly to begin with. i cant sing to save my life. and i dance like an elephant on drugs.

oh now i see why.

but its not really making me feel much better. in fact its the pits for me.

and dbsk has to go for this, as liying puts it, "manly" style which involves a lot of loud noise with good vocals. which suffice to say is as good as green tea in curry. yuck. so its SHINee for me now.

no more exams please. its really getting to my head. and im so into SHINee it hurts because i keep envying the life they have. fine maybe its not as good as it seems. but anything's better than this.

urgh me.

SHINee!

now is not the best time to get all emotional. but fucked up as it may seems, i have little control over how i feel. i keep telling myself shit happens to everyone and i should so effing get over myself.

but life just never goes the way you want it go.

in the end shit happens. and its just too bad.

talk about slacky. but then again, slacky has always been strangely gratifying. ahhh, i feel good, neh neh neh neh neh neh...

what in the world. hahaha

sorry, kell and lichu for not studying with ya'll today, it wasnt because of kell's bf really, i just felt really really sian. really really sorry. i realize got alot of really. hahaha.

thanks arh ff. for bearing with my nonsense.
talking to you has been most... erm.. hmm.. enlightening.

hahaha


and what in the world is up with my tagboard. incredible backside??? hawk??? HAHAHA. eheh, dont act mysterious arh. anyhow only. hahaha

i have overdue replies, so i shall dedicate this post to replying tags.

chenting: yesyes, you keep doing the to (someone) thing. hahaha you are TAGGING, not replying tags. hahaha. and yes what in the world is with the Othello man. come on, lets talk about tempest!! prospero is a study in power, no wait that sort of came out wrong. hahahha.. YES desd is a BIMBO.

yizhen: she's so innocent she's like sort of thick you know. but yes i admire her devotion and her love and her passion. but honestly, she's really quite daft. and yes the men are utterly egoistical it makes me mad. and iago, he's just the scum of the universe. he should go flush himself down a toilet bowl. stupid backside. LOL.

chenting: your part about michel jackson is just... weird. mmhmm. weird. weird chenting. HAHAHAHAHA

hawk: who in the world is hawk. dont act mysterious arh. dont be a backside. hahaha.

lichu: YAH LAH. what in the world right. i must have a litty influence on people. HOHOHO. oh, ENFP is a personality profile, go take the test too!! it means i belong to the Extraverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving, class of people. hahahaha. im extraverted meh? go take and xchange profile!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i thank got for the people in my life who keeps my life sane. and make me see that the only thing great about me is i have great friends.

in the end, i just see myself as a petty, narrow minded, calculative and selfish person. oh thou art hate thyself. i have no idea what i just said, but its for dramatic effect anyway.

after all, how complicated can hating oneself get.

all you have to do is look in the mirror and get the urge to whack it bad. hahahaha

No Number calls are irritating.


today im here to tell you something gross about myself

im gross.

yup thats it.









hahaha nonsense aside. i really dont feel as if the sept holidays actually happened. its so surreal. like i was just having a really long dream. and coming back to 14 seems so natural.

hawks dont fall in love btw. hawks that do are weird. and no they aren't incredible hawk(hulk) contrary to shihui's belief. hahaha. i keep seeing a fat green guy with wings sitting in a nest going tweet tweet.

do hawks go tweet? doesnt matter all birds do.

i dont know what i'll ever do without my friends. hahaha, life just doesnt make sense without them. and this aligns with my personality profile. about how friends are everything in a ENFP's life. hahaha. aiya what i wanna say is thank god for my friends lah. yes.

i keep seeing cockroaches lately.

go away lahhhh

sian. tomorrow school starts again. a week holiday simply just isnt enough. and here i was getting use to waking up at 8. bah.

i see this bar of chocolate on my table. i want to eat it. im trying to not want to eat it. it is not working though. and now i shall eat it. hoho.

hahahaha.

im looking forward to sch because i know im going to be studying alot. of course meeting 14 for 5 days a week works for me as well. hahaha. thank god for his blessings.

cant wait for promos to be over. yay!

i love the rain. the sound of it just soothes me.

of course all that "emoing" is most justified due to the predominant gloomy weather. not that i should be wasting time dwelling on the ouchful past. haha. i love making up mu own words.

anyway, i've been wanting to do this for a long time

A LIST OF THE TOP TEN TURN-OFFs

1. people who smoke.
2. people who put their armpits in my face. BAH
3. woman who have no sense of shame. that woman at the murtabak shop just left a BIG impression.
4. cockroaches. yes. brown, gross and fugly, fugly fugly fugly. did i mention fugly? i did? too bad. fugly fugly fugly.
5. chee koh peks. brown teeth, wrinkly face, small eyes and salivating mouth.
6. callous, ruthless, scheming, perverse people. like iago. haha
7. unfaithfulness.
8. unrelentless hot days.
9. holey stuff. you know like the wall with alot of holes. yea, holey stuff
10. me

hahahahaha

i must be damn bored.

HAPPY 17TH CARINE!!! sorry i didnt post this yesterday. i hope you had a awesome birthday! dont finish all the marshmellows too soon ok? hahahaha

ah thank god for a week of holiday. i dont think i could stand another minute of waking up at 6 in the morning, grousing and complaining about the distasteful distance to school.

and again, its been about a week since i last updated. it could be because of my sudden increase in studying. or of course it could be plain sloth. hahaha.

fri was great. ah chu went to had her hair cut and it turned out great. in fact it was so good, she kept flicking her hair like some bimbo. bahaha. FF joined us for lunch later. the way she crosses the road is ridiculously FUNNAY(for added effect lah). lolll.

oh and talking about funnay, we were SUuuper laokui as well. ff wanted to go to dhoby gaut but when the train arrived at dhoby gaut we were clamouring for seats.

yizhen: hahaha that was damn funny lar(one indian man was so intimidated by our rush for a pair of seats)
me: lol, yeaa. eh! OMG this is dhoby gaut!
yizhen: OHMYMAMA. shit, okok, byebye.

hahaha. talk about laokui and hilarious.

and finally i met up with the littlemisses! hahaha. we did lots of laokui stuff like mimicking some journey to the west float. SUuuper laokui. hahaha. and jump on to some arts building to take photos. and we did some shopping! ah, its been ages since i last did that. anyway the prices at haji lane are still as ridiculous as ever. urgh.

dinner was murtabak near arab street i think. it would have been absolutely perfect if not for the weird bandung and the woman who didnt believe in the concept of shame. what a slut. urghh.

i miss my friends already. im quite sick of tuition really. and i dont think i'll be able to join kell today for studying. i bet i wont study at home either.

bah.

today must be friends day or something. it was wonderful to meet so many friends purely by chance. must be like fate or something you know. ade, cheryl and sihui at the mrt station and amanda on the bus! haha.

and no, erika is purely single. in case she thinks im in her way of hitching some pie kia. hahahaha. and thanks for always food shopping with me!! X)

today was tiring regardless. no idea why. no more ringing pain in my head.

oh.

i cant find smarties like i wanted to.

so i'll just gratify myself with saying smarties size.

HOHOHO

well you deserved it anyway, right erika? HAWHAWHAW

and...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELA YOU LAZY PIG WHO NEVER COULD GET TO WALKING!! LETS GO BALCONY SOMETIME!!

woah, its sunday again. the worst two days of school start in like 19 hours. thats not very much time left to enjoy but plenty to dread and feel sian about.

but amazing things have been happening.

last wed, jere and yizhen headed down to cck with me and erika. i never thought i'll ever meet such train enthusiasts but i enjoyed it very much anyway. there was a large emphasis on clouds and laughing at the newly crowned lao kui king. hahaha. they went to my house after and we played hide and seek.

its so exhilarating especially when you hide in a toilet with two doors and yizhen had to choose the door that jere was at to escape. HAHA

friday cartel, AGAIN was lessthanthree lah. thats only expected. X) i bet if i could laugh myself to death i would. all the drama about pushing ants, butterflies and pearls... food and friends and fat friend. what else could i ask for

and yesterday...

O M G

first my parents brought us to swissotel for high tea since we had vouchers. AND THE FOOD WAS HEAVENLY. especially the dessert, cheescakes, chocalate mousse, choc fondue, brownies............... oooooooo.
then shopping at marina sq. no not clothes but i did get a new mini sound system with woofer, speakers and all. music never did sound the same again. and and and i bought breaking dawn. OOOOOO
AND FIREWORKS FESTIVAL! it was darn fabulous marvelling at the sights and sounds.

i sound like some twit describing my days. but these are things in my life that i wouldnt trade for a million dollars. maybe a billion. HAHAHA no, kidding.

what Precious Moments, Priceless Moments better lah

HAPPY 17th DEAREST AH CHU!!!

and see, i purposely put your name in the purply white musk colour to make your day even more white musky. and i manage to incoporate floral prints into your birthday although they just made my butt more itchy in the end. (okay i typing this right after i send you the info overload msg) HAHAHA

for your info, or for anyone for that matter, erika says the funniest things. this in direct contrast to carine is, carine is the funniest thing not say the funniest things. HAHAHH. okok fine, i know if i call you gong you are going to say im ignorant.

I ADMIT. i am ignorant. and i didnt know muhatma ghandi is not muhammad ghandi. (i dont even know if i got his name right) eh, you people sniggering at me arh, dont pretend you know he's hindu okay? tsktsk. at least im honest. but as othello says "honesty's a fool".

hahaha.

couple dance was full of nonsense and shrieks when people had to dance with jere. but its okay, at least you dont jump instead of tap. actually i just wanna make my point is that fat people dont tap, they stomp lah. so its not really my fault. you never heard of an elephant doing a tapdance.
imagine...... HAH! i bet you're really imagining a elephant in a tophat and tap dancing now. LOSERrrr. HAHAHAHAHA

okay today's post is full of rubbish. yup. lichu included. HAHAHA.

cya'll

there shouldnt be a reason why i dont update everyday. okay maybe there is cause im supposed to be buried in my books and notes mugging the time away. yeah like real.

if life's like yizhen's green tea everyday, i would be one happy and skinny boy. but too bad, according to ben, life's about eating and eating and looking in the mirror squeezing my disgusting fats and moping and groping about how humongous i am.

you might as well slap a label on my forehead reading "LOSER", no wait make that "FAT LOSER". HAHAHAA..

i really need to go back to the toilet. AGAIN.

and here's something i still cant forget.

ben: i wear contacts
erika: but i cant see them leh
ben: yeah, cause my contacts are just nice on the eye.
carine:(looks at my eye) oh yahhh, his is really just nice on the eye.
erika: really?? ohhh

actually i dont wear contacts. how my dear blur queen saw them is still a mystery to me. HAHAHAHA carine!! stop being so gonggg. hahahaha

thank you kell for being a good listener. :)

and i realize im just a big assed busybody.

wooo me.

HA

and there goes the national day holiday. bah.

i dont really have much to type, i think.

i enjoyed friday. sorry eric.

no kbox, but its okay lah.

okay. i shall stop typing like that. hahaha

beep beep boooop.

hahahahahaha

its plain silly.

well now i see.

being bulimic is silly. its also childish and not to mention attention seeking. so yes, i'll stop acting like a spoilt brat.

liking someone is silly if i have to behave so hypersensitively. well there's no way around this except to simply let go of whatever feelings i have and move on.

my voice sucks. and straining it everyday doesnt help. i'll just sing for fun and im sure my friends wont mind my awful singing. i think. haha

not eating is just plain torture, but eating in moderation is important too.

maybe studying is getting a little on my nerves but all i have to do is just try my best. just really try my best and im sure it'll all turn out alright.

tmr is going to be a great day. im just sure of it.

i really dont have much to say

except, im sorry.

hahaha, jere described my blog as angsty. i guess that's quite a appropriate description.

okay i'll try not to.

well the mood in school has been pretty tense. i feel prety stressed up sometimes. a little choked as well. perhaps that would account for my irritability but that is little excuse for having a short fuse.

i dont think that thing helps.

yizhen!!! my mind is all in a whirl now. ahhhhhh...

but i think i've decided already anyway.

all of a sudden im drowning in all these negativity.

blooop. blooop.

hahahaha, see, im incorporating humour into my post.

boxing the sheep HAHAHAHA

if i have to go on another stupid, meaningless outing again, i swear i'll have more than a fit. you can drive around singapore all you like, for heaven's sake, do it without me. i wonder why i dont have time to do all my homework.

arghh. okay, enough about the rage im in.

friday's have always been wonderful. whether it's with jere, kell, lichu or its with, chenting, erika and yizhen, it's been more than wonderful times. i think its people like them who keep my life sane and bearable. otherwise i might just blow up like mount vesuvius. KABOOM.

i think im about to reach a crisis.

a personality crisis.

i've never stayed so mad before. its not in me to harbour grudges and not to constantly dwell on angry things. i like to forgive and better still, forget. but all of a sudden i find myself unable to do so.

i find myself so petty and pathetic. its so childish to stay mad at your parents for so long. its also so disgusting to be a "attitudinal" student.

in the past, i would probably put all the blame on myself. i mean it is true, im only treated badly if i acted badly. it makes sense. but now all im doing is pushing the blame on others. im not in the least bit understanding. im not being sensitive to peoples' needs.

all i care about is myself, MYself, MYSELF. its all me myself and I I I I.

give me one good reason why i shouldnt hate myself.

nope, cant find one.

im better off stuck on a distant planet in solitary confinement in some far, unknown, dark galaxy. then i can spend all day and night thinking all about myself.

urgh. im so disgusted at myself i dont even want to look at myself in the mirror.

its all these bloody scams again. some people have so much time on their hands that they keep telling others they won a whole big load of money.

well you're welcome to give them all to me, i'll even give you change. in hell notes that is.

what a bunch of retards.


anyway. prata tmr!! oooooo.

if i won 10 million dollars from the net, i bet the next day i'll be robbed, kidnapped, mutilated, murdered, assaulted all at the same time. so i think i'll just stick with playing with monopoly money and keep pretending Queen Astrid Park is mine!! bahaha.

i never could understand why Orchard Road is cheaper than Queen Astrid. bah.

haircut with carine and cafe cartel later. fabulous would suffice. hahaha. sorry carine for making your teeth hurt...

im so full of anger which is unlike me really. all of a sudden, im so pissed at these other generation people. ahhh whatever i bet i'll get over it.

yeah, clara, a drink sounds good. :)

i guess in the end i never really meant what i said. and i dont think i want to regret anything. so yeah.

i feel disorientated.

its really hard to describe.

but on the way home, the images that filled my mind were of really gory and frightening stuff. i dont think im crazy. i really dont think so. but maybe all the recent anger and frustration building up within me has left me a little more than just ....

i dont know.

it hurts more than a little inside.

but there's really nothing much i can do about it.

NEOPETS PEOPLE. its the new in.

and im so totally engrossed in this ancient game. which incidentally is also sparked by this subconcious need to try and be as rich as jere. i only need to win a 17 million jackpot once. and you would think it wasnt that hard...

1 scorched treasure scratchcard, 1000 neopoints. average chance of winning, chances that the card has jackpot... to get 17000000 , only have 30000, 2147658723
217465328765t5876573257856674%&%^**(&(&@*(#(*@&$)&$(*@&$U908472864343^&*^&*(&(*@478
EEEARRGHHHHH KABABOOOMMMMM!!!!

and i wonder why i nearly failed math.

hahaha.

to put in simply.

i'll probably be stuck playing meerca chase 3 times a day for the rest of my life. did i mention i never even got the fish negg before? and whats a fish negg anyway, i bet it's gonna be real smelly. and whats with meerca chase, its not like he's chasing anything, and how come i always get a question mark on the wheel of excitement, and why do they call it mystery prize anyway, its always only 46 neopoints. dont ven get me started on the wheel of mediocrity, its a measly 10 neopoints...............................................................................................................................................



im only like this after going to chenting's blog. it has that effect on people. shhh

sorry kell and jere, today i was kind in a foul and down mood. its cause i wasnt feeling too well. so sorry if i was unpleasant in anyway.

being sick sucks.

my throat still hurts.

my head's kinda spinning.


no kidding. its really tragedy style drama.

hahahh.

ah, i catch colds faster than you can say "oh i see".

and then with the onsets of headaches, runny noses, intermittent sneezing, coughing. its like drama, othello tragedy style, all over again. ouch.

and i just discovered i've ben using plenty of literature associated terms. well, all part of the aiming to take h3 literature program. and grandmas would fly. (prays silently for grandma to fly) whooooooosh...

and i would probably fail it as quickly as how the grandmama falls.

splat.

HAHAHH
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ms chan: that's the problem with men, they never have visions
me: aiya, vision for what, the sky will still be blue tmr whatt.

i bet that's why ms chan smacks me on the head alot.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i try not to get emotional. but its like the singapore weather. it never rains but pours. and on all other days, its sunnysunnysunnysunny. with an occasional forecast of cloudy weather.

"and today we forsee thunderstorms"

im sick after all. HAHA

i just grabbed the watch and cried.

and i realized i never did let go of anything.

lichu is spending a tremendous amount of effort trying not to go crazy doing the proposal for council investiture. i dont think its going too well though. she just told me that she talks to herself when she does proposals.

wierddd right?

kellie is being really quiet. which is extremely unlike her. occasionally she just stares at you with that spastic look. and she just told me the plant on top of the table is fake. like duh, i dont know meh.

wierddd right?

apparently im the only sane one here. i hope i do not get too affected by them.

lichu just sighed VERY loudly. i bet when she reads this post she will laugh like crazy.

my handphone just rang very loudly in the library. it went DU DU. HAHAHH.

i think im going crazy too.


ahhhhhh

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

nice miss symbolic is like an oxymoron.

really.

nearly a week has passed and the weekends are upon us again. but then it will just soon fly past and it will be another monday again.

time has been flying- jet plane style.

WHOOOOSH.

urmm. haha

OMG. I SAW NAZ TODAY!!! ahh, it was so exhilarating but so strangely familiar. its like she never left. ahhh, how i do miss her.

urgh, i still feel the frustration.

symbolic my ass la.

i'll give you symbolic

!^#*&#%$%$&#@()@@&^#%@%!%#^&!*(!)@&%%!&!*^@$#@*@)!*@^%#@%@

hows that for symbolic.

omg. haha. did i just do that? ah well, i'll delete it later.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jere pulled erika's hair today.

the result: the scariest day of my life ever.

AS PROMISED, TO THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF...




hahaha. you, yes you reading this. the one with the guilty conscience.

YOURE DEAD.

hahahaha. okok, kidding lah. i think i trust you after all. i think la.
hahahh..

----------------------------------------------------------------------

well the thing about living in your own world with your friends is not wholly based on some random ravings of a semi-looney. i failed hist. sorry angeline, i didnt pass everything after all. but while spending time with my friends. i really forgot about it.

maybe crying about it would be a bit of an overreaction but its such a bummer. really. ah, but no point dwelling on it, i just have to try harder. i think.

oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC! haha, hope you like the wallet. and you should be like thanking me for the rest of your life and days because i had to undertake such an ardous journey there to get it. HAHAHH. HAPPY 17TH!

have i been in love before? errr....
hahahh.




i rather not have been.(i think the space in between is for dramatic effect.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

me: ARHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
lichu: (just stares into space for 5 seconds)
lichu: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

oh, i forgot to mention during that 5 seconds she was pouring water on herself.

there are only two instances when the you really start to live in your own world.

the first case is when you're with your friends.
you know how you talk at the top of your voices without any regards to the people around you. you're simply oblivious to them, its like they dont even exist(i say like because no matter how much you're in your own world, the train is still bloody packed regardless. urgh)
oh and then you have crazy people like me who laughs way too hysterically. of course, crazy people like minghan and shihui who suddenly start singing wierd tunes and making wierd noises. jeremy and kell's whose actions are so unfathomable, they just "crack" and appear beside you.(yah haha, inside joke lah)

i think i made my point.

haha.

oh the 2nd instance is when you're with the person you like.
you become unaware of EVERYTHING around you. time is of no concern, if there are people around you, they are mere ornaments that adorn the fabulous scenery around you. you simply enjoy every moment that's going on. even the sky is exceptionally blue.
when you talk on the phone. the world sort of shifts into a fast forward mode.


ah well
so it would suffice to say im spending half of my life in my own world.

i think i can remember the times i spent my entire life in my own world.

but all good things come to an end. i think.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

jer: your earring quite big arh
erika: hah? my urine?
erika: my urine quite big?? WHAT THE HELL??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
i spent the following two minutes of my life laughing in pain.

i think the emphasis is on the pain.

lolll

there goes the weekend. bah.

and that they say, is as simple as that.





























BAH

the weekends pass so quickly. not forgetting i spend nearly half of it sleeping. that doesnt leave much for homework or anything else for that matter.

i havent got back my history results. which is quite irritating really.

OH! naz is back!! HAHAHH!! i cant wait to meet up with you!!

i wish it was christmas now.


that was entirely random. but yeah.

hahahh


jer: money makes the world go round-
liying: the world is round what.

HAHAHH. liying says the funniest things.

perhaps stifled would be a good word to use.

withholding everything within can really wear you out. it could be the weather or it could be those "think about stuff" season, but of late there has been plenty of "emo" going on with me.

all of a sudden i want to take a really really long night bus ride and looking at all the cars, lights go past.

i try not to dwell on the past but it clearly isnt working.

also i've been seeing a whole lot of baskers recently. my heart really goes out to them. but what's the point of sympathizing with them when i dont offer a single coin? i feel really disgusted at myself.

im caught in this really ambivalent mood.

everything evokes strong emotions in me. i swear people think im crazy.

oh well. on a side note.

i passed all my mid year exams. i think it was a bit of luck as well. and to my friends who arent satisfied with your results, lets work hard together!! study groups, sessions, the works. yea

i really wish i was on that bus ride now.

我看不開 也放不開 因為我曾見過愛情真的盛開

我要等待 一直等待 等那一個夜晚從回憶回來

當你擁抱著我 那一瞬間 我像飛到空中

而當我緩緩降落 我不再是我 我有了夢 我在夢中

what a fine way to put it.

i really want to sleep lah.

but because some retarded person who's spasticity so annoyed me, i decided i absolutely have to type this.

the person's msn nick goes

"im sleeping now (and some rainbow emot thing. wth lah.)"

and then he comes online.

you get the point?

its like someone knocking at the door asking "anybody there" and you answer "NO, no one here"

get the point?

urgh.

whatever. too sleepy to bother. hahahaha

jere and kell are crazy.

going out with them is crazy.

hanging out with them drives me crazy.

they do crazy things.

the moral of the story,

jere and kell are crazy.






but crazy suits me just fine. X)

hahahh.

i think the phrase "oh i see" is wierd. because the thing is you see what? got thing for you to see meh?

i: yeah, im 18
someone: oic

heh? you see what. see me turn 18 arh?

here's another example

i: i ate wanton mee just now
someone: oic

well im quite sure you didnt see me eat wanton mee just now. but since you say you see. then you see lor

hahahaha

i like typing bullshit. it declutters my mind.

hahahh

because im impossibly lazy. i cant even be bothered to blog anymore.

i shall leave out all the redundant speeches that i wanted to include originally. because im trying to be part of this SAY NO to REDUNDACY campaign, i have to refrain from making casual bullshit. hahaha. that being said, this entire paragraph has been hopelessly redundant.

HAHAHH

anyway, happy 17th you inconsiderate, unkind, horribly irritating, ill-mouthed friend. hahahaha. i hope you liked the surprise we planned for you.

and happy 18th CLARAAAA AUNTIE!! hahahaha. when are you freeee??

and happy birthday to cheryl as well!! and its okay to be thick, really. hahahaha

and sorry lummie for the late gift. hoped you liked it.

tmr got alot of homework leh. yuck. and im still sort of in this holidayish mood. hmmm.. today i also saw alot of underwear. HAHAHH. yuck. i mean they dont call it UNDERwear for fun you know. if it was meant to be seen, they would have coined the term OVERwear.

urrrr....

HAHAHH

yawnnnnn

okay so i realised sometimes i act like a total snob and brat. seriously, i am very disgusted with myself, and i only realise everything i say comes out wrong after ive said it, ok that was kind of a "DUH" statement.

im sorry carine, jeremy and kell. since you guys bore the full brunt of my insaniacal nonsense and bullshit.

really sorry.

its terrifying.

its really terrifying.

i should be mugging like mad now, scratching my head and feeling absolutely frustrated. but im not.

god knows.

i feel sick going back to school. i hate waking up at 6 in the morning rushing for that damn packed train. and it doesnt help that the school is so far. and i hate that long journey back home.

im feeling mad at everything now and in a really foul mood.

god knows.

i want time to crawl and pass so slowly that every minute seems like an hour. i hate time for moving so fast.

i miss my friends.

im so angry.















its bloody loser but i feel like crying.

and i have completely no idea why.

but

god knows.

do you know when you go and you give it all away, i'll be there for you, care for you, love you everyday, oh babe, and would you do the same for me.

anyday you're away and i feel a little low i'll cry for you die for you just to let you know oh babe, and if you come to me you know i'll make it right.

hahaha, damn sweet.

it's that kind of song which trigger a bittersweet feeling within you. and it's a perfect for the end of a school hol. cause you know its the freaking exams but the thought of everyday school life with your friends sorts of excites you.

i need to be studying now....

haha

kns.

haha what a great way to start a post.

but right now, in spite of the exams being barely a week away and that if i take the exams now i would probably fail so bad, the rocks gonna cry, im still looking at online merchandise.

and i reiterate. KNS

i mean seriously, what kind of online shopping does singapore provide for men anyway. NADA. argghh. after looking at macys i hardly think any other source of online goods are viable to me. only pity, i dont think they ship stuff to singapore. but i totally dig their stuff. urgh.

SO YES. KNS.

and i wish. i had a MILLION dollars. hahaha, it's totally unline me to be wishing for money, but hey, my closet is so deprived i might be charged for cruelty to wardrobes. and i bet the fashion police wouldnt spare me either.

ahhhh.

i want that vintage terry hoodie. and that bahama boat shoe. and that sperry striper laceless. and that roar protector blazer, the levi's 511 slim-leg jean, ecko's inside out shirts, mehndi hoodie, plaid shorts and and and and and. ARGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

haha. and most of them are ranged $20-50!

&*^@!#*^*&$%^$^$(!%$!$%@(*!)*)*!f#(!&%!T*&!#!(#!#!)#!%#^@^#!%#%^!#^%#$*u!$&!*^!#^%!^#&!^#&%*$^c&*(!$*!($*_!)*$)(!&($^!&%$&!$#%!^@$!^%k#$!%^#^%!$!T$*&^$^!$*)&!)l&$(!*&)!&#)^!(*#^(a*!%$*&%$*&!*&$_&$)*^!$*hT^!$)&!$_(!&_(&$)*!^$!$&_(&$_(!&$(!&$_(&$_!&$(&!%#^!$%#%^!#%!$^!&*$^*(&$)!&$&!)$(&!$)^!$(*^!&$%*!&%$


im done grousing now.

its the holidays after all which means you dont have to spend your time mugging away in the library and worry which teacher is going to chase you for homework next.

so yeah i guess the holidays have always been pockets of time that happens 4 times a year in which i began to mull over more and more past events, recollecting, reminiscing. or what people still refer to as "emo". hahaha okay okay, i admit, im "emo". it cant be helped since its a combination of nature and angsty hormones coupled with a inappropriate usage of time, giving rise to a majorly depressed suicidal crisis.

okay, maybe it's a hyperbole. but if i were to use the words happy and fabulously estatic to describe my feelings now would be horribly inaccurate.

it could be due to a lack of kbox?

hahaha.

but since im on a serious note here. (note serious face :|) hahaha i sidetrack. you know how some symbolic items tell stories of people lives? well i have them too. and mine are songs. my songs, no not literally my songs, i mean the songs in my itunes library. shit im talking to myself. lol. anyway, yeah, the songs in my itunes library are symbolic of certain life events.

like, the christian songs by hillsongs. they tell me the story of my sec 3 life. and that person

and then there's like DANG NI, Too Little Too Late, MU NAI YI(haha)... and a few other significant ones which tell the story of another part of my sec 3 life. and that person. and that person.

and then there was the samantha mumba age of Never Meant To Be during 2007. wah this one. hahaha. BIG HUGE STORY of my life. and that person.

and then there's recent one like Breathless. okay maybe this one wasnt as tragic as the others were. but sad nonetheless. that person?

hahaha.

i dont mean to say my life are purely filled with tragic events lah. but these are the most ermm memorable? hahahaha. sad things are easy to remember anyway.

okay. i think im through "emoing" now.

it's so easy to slip into these lapses. but

i guess i just keep hoping still.

im getting increasingly disturbed by my recent dreams. and there's not one time in which i sleep without dreaming. i even dream during a short half an hour shut-eye. and the wierd thing is that the dreams are strangely real and nightmarish at the same time. and i keep seeing similar things in the real world.

it isnt exactly deja vu if it happens so many times is it? and its so identical it really freaks me out.

and i remember what happens in the dreams when i wake up.

like as if my dreams are prophetic. like as if its going to happen.

i keep dreaming about things i ponder over as well. like when i was watching some anime, it manifested in my dream, when i was thinking about the hols, it made me dream about the hols ending, after iplayed some computer game, it appeared in my dream as well.

and i still get intermittent headaches since 'then'.


arghhhh... im getting super freaked out. and scared.

i keep feeling something or someone constantly around me. like a shadow.

i have no idea what's happening but i dont feel one bit comfortable about it

i was reminded of you.
and it just came flooding back
and it floods
and floods
and floods.

and as the nightmares haunts me
sunrise becomes an omen
a dreamless sleep is rest

GP mid year common test today. like all gp exams, it wasnt exactly taxing. whether i do well though is an entirely different question. i just hope i pass..

and hey, i just realised i managed to pass all my class tests except for one lit timed prac. wooo. and i managed to pass history! something i've NEVER done in my enitre life. ahh. thank god. but then again, it's only expected since im a retainee. haha

i cant wait for kbox.

and it's the start of the holidays!! arhh! i cant believe it. no need to wake up when its like still super dark. and i can sleep when the sun comes out. hahaha. omg i love the lifestyle of a vampire.

i have wierd dreams. like yesterday i dreamt that my mum bought me a psp. wah lao, damn happy. but then the games i had to choose all sucked. and when i happened to pick up one that seemed promising. i woke up.

and then i had a strange alien invasion dream. and i hid at the back of a jap provision store. and there was this long stairway that led tot his tall building. i was going to be attacked by the alien but i told myself to woke up. well no more sci fi movies for me. and no more imagining other worlds. LOL

cant remember my third dream.

oh and i slept from 5 to 8.30 today. and when i woke up, i was like, oh shit, how long more do i have for sleep before i need to go to school. and i realised NO MORE SCHOOL! ahahahahaha.

yes! hols here i come!!

it is not, and i repeat, it is NOT okay for the weather to be hot. seriously the sun has been effing crazy man and it's driving people bonkers. its days like these in which you just hide away in your room, turn down the temperature hide under your blanket and keep wishing for non-hot days in singapore.

I AM GOING TO PETITION. or maybe even ask for a passing of new laws.

it is absolutely illegal to feel warm. if you're found guilty of feeling hot(and i dont mean that "hot") you will be prosecuted and sent to build free air cons for the rest of your life, or at least until the ice age comes, then you have to build heaters instead.

it is also illegal to attend school when temperatures are beyond 30 degrees. offenders will find themselves paying a maximum fine of about 100k and you have to build electric fans for the rest of your schooling life.

i mean business..




i think the heat is so crazy i get fits of laughter. seriously.

and i type bullshit.

LOL.

as ah chu always says. WHAT IN THE WORLD.

kbox on monday. OMG

it's okay to reminisce once in a while is it not? ironic as it may seem but it's always the happiest memories that makes us the saddest. hahaha, i guess this today would be one of those "emo" days which i will look back upon and laugh about it. but meanwhile, i'm feeling extremely nostalgic and the thoughts of the past are racing through my head.

back to the days when i was in secondary 3. yeah i still remember.

back to the days when i was in secondary 4. prom was simply fantastic.

back to the days when i was in pj. when i hanged out everyday with the blue group.

back to the days when i was in 37. i miss naz.

and then to just the recent start of the year. i do miss my PAE days. hahaha, shihui i bet you do too.

ah well. as much as i miss all these very much, i'm very content with the present. 14has been like a 2nd family to me. and i couldnt have asked for more. lummy and ying never seem to be that far away either. angela always seems to be around. and shihui of course, who's constant presence reminds me that some things never change and friendships dont end.

ahhh. hahahahaha, bloody emo.

but it's just one of THOSE days.

i am entitled to occasional bouts of emotive reflection am i not? lol



there are some things that i havent forgotten. and i dont think i ever will. but since they are nothing but past characters and events. i no longer see a point in wishing for things to go back the way they were.


so

i'll simply pretend i dont remember them.