1) The person who tagged: yizhen

2) Your relationship with him/her is: FFs!

3) Your five impressions of him/her:
1. nice
2. still nice
3. still nice
4. okay lah, very nice
5. eh enough alr arh.

4) The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
i guess it would be following me all the way to like cck and then later wasting time at woodlands just 4 days before promos.

5) The most memorable thing he/she had said to you:
"then i satellite cups"

6) If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
be asleep

7) If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
when i wake up already then i tell you.

8) If he/she become your enemy, you will:
be her enemy lah. duh

9) If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be:
cause she dont like me? duh..

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is:
die. cause im a lousy friend you know. or a slimming belt, she just asked

11) Your overall impression of him/her is:
singtel, starhub, M1. hahaha. maybe a kindred spirit?

12) How you think people around you will feel about you?:
awful

13) The characteristics you love of yourself are:
how i dont love myself

14) On the contrary, the characteristics you hate of yourself are:
everything else

15) The most ideal person you want to be is:
nobody, but i really want to be a singer too.

16) For people who cares and likes you, say something to them:
bad taste. tsktsk. but thanks all the same

17) Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you:
this is in no order of anything.

1. Yizhen!
2. Lichu
3. Kellie
4. Chenting
5. Clara
6. Shitien(if not your mould might just be the next cure for aids)
7. Angeline(after your exams please. lol)
8. Yingying
9. Angela(if you do read this)
10. LUMMIE(but your blog is like non existent)


The below questions are available for further use should anyone chance upon it and wish to make use of it.

18) Who is no.6 having relationship with: (shitien) hah, i dont know. really

19) Is no.9 a male or female?: (angela) female. though there are people who would argue that

20) If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good things? (angeline and lummie): there's no such thing as A good thingS

21) *Missing question* what in the world.

22) What is no.2 studying about? (lichu): not studying. exams over

23) When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? (kellie): since after chem. sian

24) What kind of music band does no.8 like? (yingying): nursery rhymes. its a small small world, twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are, doe a deer a female deer.. aiya you get the point.

25) Does no.1 have any siblings? (yizhen): yeah, who according to her is annoying and he took her bear.

26) Will you woo no.3? (kellie): omg. no.

27) How about no.7? (angeline): who would want a nobody?

28) Is no.4 single? (chenting): no, she's engaged to jere.

29) What is the surname of no.5? (clara): Yeo. she used to make jokes about yeo drinks

30) What's the hobby of no.4? (chenting): going AHHHHHH AH AH!

31) Does no.5 and 9 get along well? (clara and angela): i dont know i ask. eh 5, you like 9? dont know leh, no reply.

32) Where is no.2 studying at? (lichu): in sch, duh.

33) Talk something casual about no. 1? (yizhen): lets lose weight!

34) Have you tried developing feelings for no.8? (yingying): i shudder.

35) Where does no.9 live at? (angela): home? duh

36) What colour does no.3 like? (kellie): pink.

37) Are no.5 and 1 best friends? (yizhen and clara): wait arh, i ask.

38) Does no.1 have any pets? (yizhen): better not. later she eats it

39) Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? (angeline): 7 is a number, not a person.

i really very nearly broke down when my tuition teacher suddenly said she couldnt come. all of a sudden, all the questions i have to ask are simply left hanging. i mean seriously, what am i suppose to do now? i feel so helpless and hopeless. i really cant take this anymore.

math was bad in itself already. and all i can do is pray and hope that i'll scrap i through.

no, im not okay.

im not in the least bit okay.

i thank all of you for being concerned and my parents for being so understanding that they never ever gave me any pressure. i really appreciate it.

but im really not okay.

i wont make it.

i really wont make it.

you probably think im procrastinating but im not. i simply feel so overwhelmed that i can no longer think straight anymore. my mind is this constant flux and im breaking down at all the wrong moments. everynight im plagued by a myriad of dreams that are so utterly bizarre yet at the same time strangely satisfying. i really dread waking up. like yesterday night, there was this leopard that wanted to maul me. hohoho. so exciting

im looking forward to maths exam tmr actually. looking forward to waking up at 6 and doing the most routine thing in the world; going to school. i have no idea why.

i find silence extremely comforting and horribly empty.

the weather has been very reflective of my current state of emotions. the sudden downpour that just happened and that big assed thunderstorm on mon morning. in fact the thunderstorm made me so happy i went to my balcony to enjoy the frightful wind, the loud booms booms and the flashes of white. at like 2 am in the morning mind you. haha

i love the bad weather.

in some ways, im thankful for the exams. because in that neither short nor long span of time, i was able to just focus solely on one thing. i didnt have time to ponder over other nonsense, i didnt have time to evaluate my self worth, yadah yadah.. all i had to do was focus and just think how best to answer the question.

yeah, my fingers are still smarting with pain when i write but it feels good. no, im not masochistic but the pain helps take my mind of things. really.

school works for me as well. im kind of glad people arent easily affected by bad vibes, our class is still as hyper as can be. and i just cant help but smile and laugh at their antics. carolyn and her fei mu, which i still have no clue about its meaning. and jeremy who was blowing air on me after gp ended. what in the world.

hahaha.

there's no sch tmr.

im kind of afraid you know. every day just gets harder and harder.

how do i put it? the past 4 days have been excruciatingly hard to bear, pardon the melodrama but really... i think i would truely be better off dead. urgh. im fast approaching 19 and yet im still stuck in some sort of angsty teenage timeframe refusing to grow up.

this life really isnt meant for me. i cant take this mundane shit. i cant take these do or die situations. what if i really flunk out the promos? what if i dont make it.


if only i stayed at some sort of high rise building. so high that when i jump i wouldnt feel a thing.

i would like to thank carine and ff for caring so. i really appreciate your care and concern. im really sorry for not reciprocating, it must make you all feel shitty right? sorry im such a shithole.

this is very worrying. i dont really feel scared for the promotionals. maybe im just going to flunk out everything. and its not helping really when i watch people my age performing concerts and everything. some are more than 2 years my junior mind you. i am of course referring to SHINee

i mean apart from their all too perfect voices and refreshing, innocent image, i still can get over the fact that the oldest is like only what, 19? wtf.

life's unfair isn't it. im stuck with boring books and bloody exams. and then there are those who have perfect skin, perfect looks who are singing and dancing their life away.

why wouldnt be the life of a entertainer be meant for me. okay fine, im ugly to begin with. i cant sing to save my life. and i dance like an elephant on drugs.

oh now i see why.

but its not really making me feel much better. in fact its the pits for me.

and dbsk has to go for this, as liying puts it, "manly" style which involves a lot of loud noise with good vocals. which suffice to say is as good as green tea in curry. yuck. so its SHINee for me now.

no more exams please. its really getting to my head. and im so into SHINee it hurts because i keep envying the life they have. fine maybe its not as good as it seems. but anything's better than this.

urgh me.

SHINee!

now is not the best time to get all emotional. but fucked up as it may seems, i have little control over how i feel. i keep telling myself shit happens to everyone and i should so effing get over myself.

but life just never goes the way you want it go.

in the end shit happens. and its just too bad.

talk about slacky. but then again, slacky has always been strangely gratifying. ahhh, i feel good, neh neh neh neh neh neh...

what in the world. hahaha

sorry, kell and lichu for not studying with ya'll today, it wasnt because of kell's bf really, i just felt really really sian. really really sorry. i realize got alot of really. hahaha.

thanks arh ff. for bearing with my nonsense.
talking to you has been most... erm.. hmm.. enlightening.

hahaha


and what in the world is up with my tagboard. incredible backside??? hawk??? HAHAHA. eheh, dont act mysterious arh. anyhow only. hahaha

i have overdue replies, so i shall dedicate this post to replying tags.

chenting: yesyes, you keep doing the to (someone) thing. hahaha you are TAGGING, not replying tags. hahaha. and yes what in the world is with the Othello man. come on, lets talk about tempest!! prospero is a study in power, no wait that sort of came out wrong. hahahha.. YES desd is a BIMBO.

yizhen: she's so innocent she's like sort of thick you know. but yes i admire her devotion and her love and her passion. but honestly, she's really quite daft. and yes the men are utterly egoistical it makes me mad. and iago, he's just the scum of the universe. he should go flush himself down a toilet bowl. stupid backside. LOL.

chenting: your part about michel jackson is just... weird. mmhmm. weird. weird chenting. HAHAHAHAHA

hawk: who in the world is hawk. dont act mysterious arh. dont be a backside. hahaha.

lichu: YAH LAH. what in the world right. i must have a litty influence on people. HOHOHO. oh, ENFP is a personality profile, go take the test too!! it means i belong to the Extraverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving, class of people. hahahaha. im extraverted meh? go take and xchange profile!!
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i thank got for the people in my life who keeps my life sane. and make me see that the only thing great about me is i have great friends.

in the end, i just see myself as a petty, narrow minded, calculative and selfish person. oh thou art hate thyself. i have no idea what i just said, but its for dramatic effect anyway.

after all, how complicated can hating oneself get.

all you have to do is look in the mirror and get the urge to whack it bad. hahahaha

No Number calls are irritating.


today im here to tell you something gross about myself

im gross.

yup thats it.









hahaha nonsense aside. i really dont feel as if the sept holidays actually happened. its so surreal. like i was just having a really long dream. and coming back to 14 seems so natural.

hawks dont fall in love btw. hawks that do are weird. and no they aren't incredible hawk(hulk) contrary to shihui's belief. hahaha. i keep seeing a fat green guy with wings sitting in a nest going tweet tweet.

do hawks go tweet? doesnt matter all birds do.

i dont know what i'll ever do without my friends. hahaha, life just doesnt make sense without them. and this aligns with my personality profile. about how friends are everything in a ENFP's life. hahaha. aiya what i wanna say is thank god for my friends lah. yes.

i keep seeing cockroaches lately.

go away lahhhh

sian. tomorrow school starts again. a week holiday simply just isnt enough. and here i was getting use to waking up at 8. bah.

i see this bar of chocolate on my table. i want to eat it. im trying to not want to eat it. it is not working though. and now i shall eat it. hoho.

hahahaha.

im looking forward to sch because i know im going to be studying alot. of course meeting 14 for 5 days a week works for me as well. hahaha. thank god for his blessings.

cant wait for promos to be over. yay!

i love the rain. the sound of it just soothes me.

of course all that "emoing" is most justified due to the predominant gloomy weather. not that i should be wasting time dwelling on the ouchful past. haha. i love making up mu own words.

anyway, i've been wanting to do this for a long time

A LIST OF THE TOP TEN TURN-OFFs

1. people who smoke.
2. people who put their armpits in my face. BAH
3. woman who have no sense of shame. that woman at the murtabak shop just left a BIG impression.
4. cockroaches. yes. brown, gross and fugly, fugly fugly fugly. did i mention fugly? i did? too bad. fugly fugly fugly.
5. chee koh peks. brown teeth, wrinkly face, small eyes and salivating mouth.
6. callous, ruthless, scheming, perverse people. like iago. haha
7. unfaithfulness.
8. unrelentless hot days.
9. holey stuff. you know like the wall with alot of holes. yea, holey stuff
10. me

hahahahaha

i must be damn bored.

HAPPY 17TH CARINE!!! sorry i didnt post this yesterday. i hope you had a awesome birthday! dont finish all the marshmellows too soon ok? hahahaha

ah thank god for a week of holiday. i dont think i could stand another minute of waking up at 6 in the morning, grousing and complaining about the distasteful distance to school.

and again, its been about a week since i last updated. it could be because of my sudden increase in studying. or of course it could be plain sloth. hahaha.

fri was great. ah chu went to had her hair cut and it turned out great. in fact it was so good, she kept flicking her hair like some bimbo. bahaha. FF joined us for lunch later. the way she crosses the road is ridiculously FUNNAY(for added effect lah). lolll.

oh and talking about funnay, we were SUuuper laokui as well. ff wanted to go to dhoby gaut but when the train arrived at dhoby gaut we were clamouring for seats.

yizhen: hahaha that was damn funny lar(one indian man was so intimidated by our rush for a pair of seats)
me: lol, yeaa. eh! OMG this is dhoby gaut!
yizhen: OHMYMAMA. shit, okok, byebye.

hahaha. talk about laokui and hilarious.

and finally i met up with the littlemisses! hahaha. we did lots of laokui stuff like mimicking some journey to the west float. SUuuper laokui. hahaha. and jump on to some arts building to take photos. and we did some shopping! ah, its been ages since i last did that. anyway the prices at haji lane are still as ridiculous as ever. urgh.

dinner was murtabak near arab street i think. it would have been absolutely perfect if not for the weird bandung and the woman who didnt believe in the concept of shame. what a slut. urghh.

i miss my friends already. im quite sick of tuition really. and i dont think i'll be able to join kell today for studying. i bet i wont study at home either.

bah.