i handed in all my gp hw. and even completed hw that's not even due yet. hows that. now all that's left is to study for chem. ouch.

i dont even have time to blog nowadays.

and actually i have so much to grouse about. especially when stupid jeremy keeps destroying my self esteem.

urghhh...

angela is such a show-off.

ahahahahahaha

went out to bugis with shihui today. hahahaha, it was pretty fun lah. and i don't think i'll ever like ice kachang again. ew. LOL.

just heard my parents fighting over the dogs. and i told my mum not to bring work matters back but she brought it up just so she made her point. in the end everyone was shouting at one another.

i just went upstairs.

ah, whatever.

i managed to complete all my hw thus far. wow. i only have 1 gp task left to complete. wooo

and you know after parents fight, the biggest victims are never the children. they are the doors. at the rate they slam them, eskimoes in the north pole would be celebrating "source for fuel" day.

not funny, yah i agree.

well you do kinda get bummed if you have to eat dinner at like 10.15 and see yourself grow more and more fat by the second. and the maple private server keeps crashing.

not forgetting i have so many tests to study for next week.

i feel like sleeping already.

yawn.

you know 2 minutes ago, i was pretty high and cheerful. until i saw this email about "bonsai cats" where they stuff kittens into glass bottles, feed them through straws and feed them drugs to soften their bones so that they will adopt the shape of the glass bottle.

what a sick bastard.

what kind of sick twisted demented perverse person will do this sort of things. i've not cursed for a really long long time, but guess what i hope you rot in hell forever and ever.

i don't understand why sclub disbanded. okay, this may be ancient news, but their songs are so filled with emotions and feeling. ahhh, so sad.

school is getting kind of unbearable because the workload increases at a exponential rate. and it's so depressing to know that i still have tonnes of things left to do. i wish i could just draw ugly faces on all my homework. i bet i would feel so much better.

hahahaha..

something's wrong with me, the songs i'm listening to now makes me wanna cry.

lol.

the house is real quiet now. no one's at home except me. and i'm all alone. how frightful, what if like sadako crawls out from the tv and try to eat me?? and what if cockroaches start flying out from my cupboard? and what if markers throws another bitch fit.

LOL.

i like 我们怎么了. it's so happily sad. wahahaha, so oxymoronic

hahaha, some people are just kind by nature and even though i had to pass the reservoir 3 times and undergo that long ardous journey between khatib and yio chu kang 3 times as well, it was well worth it to have met such a person. albeit a tad bit violent and unrelentless with degrading comments.

hahahahahaha

persopolis was it? sucked. it was a real controversial and disturbing movie. the profanities they used were more commonplace than all the stars in the sky. okay maybe it's a hyperbole, but for a educational cartoon, it's pretty bad.

i don't think i really did a good deed today because my attitude was terrible. but at least i tried. enjoyed the time with carine, d and jeremy. hahahahahaha. iml ying.

dear lord, i'm sorry i'm not much of a christian, i mean i know i'm suppose to be convincing others to believe in you but i still do sincerely believe people should grow to love you and not be forced to. and i think i'm terrible with all the various teachings and rules i'm suppose to adhere to. i'm really sorry. i will try harder. and like lichu said, i can't imagine a life without you.

i think it's really my fault. i mean if i didnt go and open my yap, things wouldnt be like that. i mean, dislike is one thing but spreading it is plain malice. arghhh, and i keep telling myself to be more civil but all i'm doing is making all sorts of nasty retorts.

i really wish i stop acting this way. but i really cant help it. aiya, fcuk myself lah.

anyway, i feel really blessed that i have so many wonderful people around me, seeing everyone stranded in the rain, okay, maybe it's not nice to see people stuck, but to see them all around is kinda heart-warming. lol.

and headed to Hub to have dinner at subway with angela and syaf. hahahaha i realize we have like so much to talk about. dont forget teasing one another. hahaha, super fun and funny. ahhh i miss them so..

i have so much hw due, but i'm going to adopt a positive attitude and try my best to finish ALL of them

and while i was on the bus home today, seeing all the lights, cars, people pass by, i just can't help but get this nostalgic feeling. looking back at last year, i thinm i've learnt to take nothing for granted.

especially happiness.

of course some people are just determined to run you down, take jeremy and shihui for example, who NEVER stops reminding me that i'm fat and that i eat alot. do i really look like a pig? i mean if people keep saying that, there has to be some turth in it.

omg.

i think i'm so fat, you would experience all four seasons if you were to walk one round around me.

some people have no sense of sympathy. i mean it's sad enough that i have to put up with looking in the mirror and seeing a idiotic fat-assed sorry excuse for a human but NOooo, they just have to go on and remind me that i'm actually secretly what you call a Sus Scrofa Domestica. okay fine it means PIG! arghhhh!

tonight when i pray, i'll pray god punishes the wicked. and of course, i won't forget to include the all so WONDERFUL, MARVELLOUS, FANTASTIC jeremy in my prayers. i mean if there was a real bad thunderstorm somewhere, we woldnt want someone elso to get striked by lightning first, would we?

hahahahahaha

jokes aside, i think lately i have been acting very out of character. i mean sarcasm and being a large part cruel and mean isnt exactly how i always wished people would be. so why should i act otherwise?

yet another reason to add to the dictionary of "why ben should be extinct"

hahahahaha

i have alot of homework to do.

bleargh.

i am currently suffering from withdrawal symptoms due to deprivation of kbox and settlers. it is absolutely neccessary that i go to either one of them as soon as possible. to do so otherwise might result in severe health problems and may even cause death.

i wish.

hahahahahahaha

i should say i'm sorry cause yes i was being sarcastic. but you probably think i'm just being hypocritical. well, whether you accept it or not. i'm sorry.

'there's no use looking back or wondering,
how it could baby now, or might have been,
all these i know but still i know,
but i still cant find ways to let you go"

it's been a really long time since i heard sclub. old and corny as it may seems, i think they still rock. and besides this song really brings back tons of painful memories.

ouch.

hahahaha.

today's vocal workshop was great, i really enjoyed it very much. hahahaha and lichu was such a wonderful partner. and the vocal coach was great!! hahahaha

and i got pw results today. yeah, it comes as sort of a surprise to me because i expected a B. but still, i am happy i did ok. so that's two subjects i dont have to worry about now. hahahaha, i wonder if i can get like a full score for Alevels.

i'm dreaming.

but it's okay to dream once in a while right?

lum and ying did well too!!

went out with shihui and lummy today. hahahaha, it was not exactly exciting but still real nice. and omu rice is still as nice as ever.

i miss kbox and settlers already.

in lieu of the previous two posts which seemed rathery unsavoury, i have decided to delete them. hahahaha

interestingly, lummy made an fascinating comment today about how i seem so cheerful and all in school but actually i like "whirlll" inside. hmmm.. lol. i guess, i am a happy go lucky person by nature. but i do have this highly emotional side to me as well.

but this is boring stuff. so anyway.

i'll try my best not to sink into depression again. but i have a feeling it will come anyway. so ah well, come what may and i'll take it one step at a time.

it has suddenly dawned on me that someone in this class has been prejudiced against me ever since we met. incidentally, jeremy is a total ass. ahahahaha.

so i just fond out that i belong in a group of people who show no apprecation of any sorts for the modern day ahlian's language. i mean seriously, if someone were to spout all those bullshit like i lurbe euuu worx in front of me, i swear i would ermm.. draw ugly faces on that person. yah.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

and tml. and nbm.

tomollow? NEBERMIND??!

wahlaoeh.

not forgetting the all so classic lemaorofle.

arghhhh!

oh and what's his name, some laoshi lah, came to our school today. it was pretty cool, he had some of his students over to perform. so yeah it was pretty neat. apart from the fact that the audience who was so alive they they make it almost as if my graphic calculator is about to get up and do a dance. huh?

i have to exalt lichu for her enthusiasm here. and on a side note. YOU GO LICHU!! hahaha. i never doubted it for a minute. hahahaha.

i think the camera caught us twice for being so hyper. and trust me, we tried.

but no matter what i did, my graphic calculator lay motionless.

.....

......

.......

........

.........

..........

:(

by right, i'm suppose to be typing this really long post about how what i have reflected today. but then because i think my dogs are secretly pigs i dont feel like talking about serious stuff anymore.

but all the same, my lord, i hope you will lead me back to the right path.

so yah, i think my dogs are secretly pigs. i mean what kind of dogs eat and eat all day and yet still have storage space to put more away. hahaha, quite scary.

so come to think of it, i think i'm secretly a pig too. i mean look at the enormity of my mass. the sheer magnitude of my body. the titanic size i'm in. omg. i think eating should be a crime. yeah. that way i wont eat anymore.

recently the radio in the kitchen has been blaring some random chinese station. i never knew my mum was so cheena. if only there was this radio station that went "HA! i caught you eating!" every five minutes. i bet it would be real helpful in helping me lose weight.

wahahahahha.

now there's a thought.

oh and i'm starting to feel awful for all the terrible things i've done. and i promised not to.

shit.

:(

so mr nice and honest guy decides that his new hobby would be to degrade me to the status no less than a pig. meaty, with pieces of fat all over and fat fat FAT are commonly associated words with Ben.

i understand how pigs feel when we call them fat now.

i solemnly swear to never call another pig fat in my entire life.

i'm so fat, i think i should find a deep, dark, bottomless hole and jump in. oh wait, i mean a WIDE, BROAD, bottomless hole. since deep are meant only for the privileged SKINNY people.

ahhhhhhhh....

i wish i wasn't fat. :(

this is paradoxicaloxymoron signing off.

bah. mona. hahahahaha