Benj-

if i have to go on another stupid, meaningless outing again, i swear i'll have more than a fit. you can drive around singapore all you like, for heaven's sake, do it without me. i wonder why i dont have time to do all my homework.

arghh. okay, enough about the rage im in.

friday's have always been wonderful. whether it's with jere, kell, lichu or its with, chenting, erika and yizhen, it's been more than wonderful times. i think its people like them who keep my life sane and bearable. otherwise i might just blow up like mount vesuvius. KABOOM.

i think im about to reach a crisis.

a personality crisis.

i've never stayed so mad before. its not in me to harbour grudges and not to constantly dwell on angry things. i like to forgive and better still, forget. but all of a sudden i find myself unable to do so.

i find myself so petty and pathetic. its so childish to stay mad at your parents for so long. its also so disgusting to be a "attitudinal" student.

in the past, i would probably put all the blame on myself. i mean it is true, im only treated badly if i acted badly. it makes sense. but now all im doing is pushing the blame on others. im not in the least bit understanding. im not being sensitive to peoples' needs.

all i care about is myself, MYself, MYSELF. its all me myself and I I I I.

give me one good reason why i shouldnt hate myself.

nope, cant find one.

im better off stuck on a distant planet in solitary confinement in some far, unknown, dark galaxy. then i can spend all day and night thinking all about myself.

urgh. im so disgusted at myself i dont even want to look at myself in the mirror.