Benj-

never thought i would be updating on such a regular basis. its been almost everyday now.

maybe lichu was right, we only use our blog to rant. or maybe like ff says, its the only way to express your feelings.

either one would work fine for me, i just need to blog anyway.

at some point in time, we reach a point in life when we no longer question "why". you no longer ask why is this happening to me? why should i have to suffer this? why am i so sad? why am i so mad.....

etc etc.

i guess its because we know that there's no reason to ask why anymore? asking why wont make you feel any better nor will it solve anything. so in the end you simply just accept it and hope that sooner or later, you tide it thru.

i hope i get thru this quickly.

but in retrospect, i wonder how much of all "these" is self inflicted? hmm, i think a large part of them are born of my own doing. had i been a little more gracious, be a little less judgemental, been a little more accepting, been a little less selfish.

things would have been very different now.

its all a matter of perspective and choice i guess.

and the lord as well.

maybe i shouldnt take things so hard. (: