Benj-

i think its the exams. and alot of dawning realization. but mostly exams.

at least thats what i think it is.

nah, im fine, i think i'll get over it. you can only allow self pity for so long; sooner or later you need to smack yourself awake.

i appreciate things that are constant. constancy is a comfort that is meant only for the privileged, or the very lucky. of which, i am neither. i am however fortunate enough to have some very good friends and blessed enough to have a somewhat happy family.

of course, there's always God. but he's so constant it doesnt even count anymore. i think without him, i would probably be living in Ethiopia catching bugs for lunch, scrapping bark for dinner and not to mention blind with several fingers missing.

woah, that was so morbid but so horrifyingly true i should be infinitely thankful for what i have now.

but it doesnt make things any less harder to accept.

like taking things for granted. thats one.
forgetting the need to be sensitive, thats another.
or sometimes being plain unpleasant. thats worse.

which is why maybe i do need some isolation. it builds up character and dependency on others. and it gets alot of work done. lol

btw, my effing dog peeed on my bed. i would curse and swear at it several times over but it wouldnt hae understood a single word i said. except when i call its name. but that doesnt count. ): so im relegated to grousing about my actually pretty good life (that i need to appreciate a little more) and making myself zzzzzz all over again.

and to think i wanna be a psychologist.

lol.

SUCK IT ALL UP AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.

i didnt just say that right.

and the gender revolution gp passage stipulates it should be

SUCK IT ALL UP AND TAKE IT LIKE A WO/MAN.

dry wit about gp is hardly amusing

har har