Benj-

I WILL BE STRONG

its been so long.. haha, i ran away for a long long time.. avoidin the hurt, escapin de pain... but i think its time to come to term wif it... i will be true to myself

hahas to all my frens readin this.. it may seem out of place.. so sorri bout dat..

i have awaez been a realli serious person when it comes to relationships.. no i dun mean de boy girl kind.. yea its impt.. but to me frenships are equalli impt.. and not everyone can find a best fren.. so yea, its veri impt to me...

hahas i still rmb de dae.. when i felt i was de luckiest person on earth.. lols.. its not often sumone tells u dat ure de best bud dat he can eva hv.. so yea.. i was happi.. rly happi.. i still keep those msges.. to remind myself how lucky i am..

i rmb all those times when we played tgth.. when we ran arnd the house lyk madmen... using sticks to fight one another.. lol!! of coz i had de bigger stick.. so i won.. LOL, den when we made a mess out of my room throwin pillows and bolsters and u din hlp pack.. and we played de ps and i keep winnin.. which made me feel bad.. hahas. and of coz how we tickled each other silly... made me laugh lyk a madmen.. hahas.. and den de food i cooked which u ate with such a face... and den u went to de toilet to spit it out.. i noe u did.. dun lie.. LOL

and den there were all de times we spent singin on de phone... bth wif dreams of becomin singers.. lols.. i wud comment on ur singin, and u wud comment mine.. though all u eva said were mostly good stuff.. when sumtimes i snd realli bad.. actualli i also de same la.. hahas.. or when we werent singin, we wud crap and make lame jokes.. tok abt stuff which mde no sense whatsoever.. lols.. or we wud be discussin how to kill dat monster.. i still rmb dat silly garm.. it was freakin hard to find.. hahas..

and den there were de time we went out just to hv lunch or just waste time.. hahas.. of coz de bez trip was to orchard where we walked ourselves till we cud do so no more... went to almoz every single shoppin centre.. or there was de time we went to causeway pt and walked up and down de floors.. juz to while time awae..

hahas.. though wad we did may snd realli silly and childish.. even wierd.. i mean singin on de fone?? lols.. but i guess these were realli de happiest times of my life.. i nv felt happier.. u were lyk a bro i nv had, an extended family...

sumhow gg thru all these brings tears to my eyes... losing a fren has nv been ez... knowin de things we did will nv happen again makes it even more painful... it rly hurts.. it does and i know it...

but i made my choice... i chose to giv u up... i chose to let my best fren go... for reasons i wud not lyk to state.. but i guess it wud be better this way...

i struggled long and hard wif myself.. askin myself over and over again whether i did de right thing... i asked god.. and i got an ans but i still didnt change my mind... but i still cudnt harden my heart.. which den resulted in a period of depression... cryin over a best fren may seem wierd to u.. but it feels right to me... hahas.. im so damn emo..

in de end wif de hlp of my rly rly great frens i manage to forget my probs.. hahas and now here i am... recollectin wad happend..

im nt sure yet wad im suppose to do... i still hv one more dae.. tmr will be de dae i make my decision... sumhow i got an answer in my heart.. and i alr sorta say my gdbyes.. but we'll see... lols..

yo loy, if u read this post.. hahas i rly wanna thank u for all de wonderful times.. thx thx alot and all de best to u... im sure u'll find a greater fren den me.. hahas.. kaes.. tc.. i keep sayin de same thing.. muz b damn sian alr right? lols..

my lord i love u...

bye