Benj-

i wna die. never thought i'll say this. but i wna slp and i dun eva want to wake up. yea there are things that i would miss, people that i wna see again. but compared to the rest of the things i dun miss and de people i dun wna face or think about, its nth.

if my lord loves me, i rly hope he'll let me go.

death may not be an escape but its better than tormenting myself everyday. im losing myself, losing my humanity, im starting to longer care, and i dun wan that to happen. mayb dying is stupid and thinkin of it is immature and selfish, but to me, its helplessness and misery that drives me to do so. i dun wna live for anyone any longer, but if i have to live for myself, i rather die. even my mum said im changing, she said that the son she knew wasnt lyk this. if i have to hurt anyone in the course of my living, den leaving would be better

so my lord, if u rly care and if u rly love me, let my suffering end.