Benj-

its amazing how i remember things that happened so long ago. i realized that there are so many things that actually lie dormant in my mind, not forgotten, just locked away, waiting for "keys" to open them up.

it sucks when u rmb the hurt uve been thru before. it sucks when it all comes back to you. every single incident. every single time u cried and u fucking rmb the reasons why.

thx mind, for not forgetting, i could forget formulas and facts with a snap of my fingers but not things that hurt me. so yea, thx alot.

just for once in my life, once in my utterly pathetic and virtually useless life, i wish that there was sumone hu wud treat me right. for once in my life, i ask that i dun have to pour out my heart and recieve nth but pain at the end.

seriously, fuck, ive went mad b4 and i cannot go thru it again.

mayb i was born to be made use of, it seems so. i was born to give but not take, was born to suffer, was born to b humiliated, was born to serve others purposes, born to b made a toy, a ride, a plaything.

mayb.

heck,

its confirm.

if dats my life, den i might as well stop complaining and get use to it.

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I don't feel safe...

Left broken empty in despair
Want to breathe, can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone...

I tell ya..
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I need to... pray

Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way

Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I tell ya...
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I need to pray

Oh pray
(Heavenly father)
Ohh heavenly father
(Please, save me)
Oh save me

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe
I need to.. pray

i thank god for my friends. if it wasnt for you all. i might alr be dead. so thankyou.