Benj-

its been a long time since i wrote again... i guess i finally woke up from my dream and stopped escapin from wad was meant to be........

these few months has been most dark and unhappi for me, if it had nt been for some new frens i made and my old buddies i guez i wud hv lost my sanity... so thankew all...

these few nths of escapin and livin wifout god has been most difficult, ive done every imaginable thing dat has put distance b/w me and the lord... but wheneva i think back on how i might hv caused sumones death... i wud start to lose faith again, i failed myself and failed my duty... i cnt forgive myself... for being so selfish...

i guess cryin and thinkin abt old memories dat hurt has been my everyday activities, but its time to wake up alr... i hv forsaken love, hopes, faith, dreams, sincerity, warmth, kindness... its enough...

but here i am again.. once again ready to serve... it took some time but i finally made it, there are still many out there waitin for me to pray for them. and i hv to work doubly hard now.. pain and sufferin is inevitable.. i hv felt it myself.. and i noe dat there is little i can do.. but wad little i can do i will do, i pray for all hu are lost and dat de lords light shine on u and dat u may find comfort in his love

the lord has never left u... every step dat u take he is aways behind u, followin closely, watchin, waitin to catch u when u fall. and so will my love for u all... for know dat love is boundless and it can awaez make room for more

loves!!! [aollovin]