Benj-

nightmares don't start when you sleep but just before you fall asleep.

it comes in waves of terror, of pain, of suffering. one after another, continuous, unending, unstoppable.

it gets so bad the darkness around you becomes your solace. you seek security in that obscure, unclear, pitch black surrounding.

my lord, it still hurts. alot.

make it go away please.

i want to be unfettered from the restraints of my heart. i want to stop using it. i don't want to feel anymore. make me devoid of emotions, cold and unfeeling.

at least that way, i'll never get those feelings of despair again.

i said i wanted to be patrick. but i never wanted to be the fool who hurt himself.

fuck.