Benj-

todae.. i think i hv wad is known as SCSAS (Self Centered Selfish Asshole Syndrome), when i kena dis syndrome.. i wud start thinkin alot of myself.. think of my own happiness, think of how bad ppl has treated me, how bludy F***ed up everything is... when actualli it isnt de case..

i hate this kinda daes... probably partly due to mondae blues.

my lord.. sumtimes i find it soo hard to focus on other ppls happiness instead of my own.. i find it veri hard to go all way out juz to make ppl happi. i realli wish sumone wud take care of me for a change.. i realli wish sumone wud actualli giv a damn how i feel.. i wish sumone be there to let me noe dat im not alone.. but nahs... i nv eva get dat.. its too good to be true... ahh wells.. i think this paragraph is just de effect of my sickness

sumtimes i wonder whether wad i work so hard for actualli goes thru or am i just seen as sum kinda hypocritical shit dat tryin to play goody two shoes and act holy and all.. well i seriousli dunno...

todaes post is so all about me.. and its damn sickenin.. i hope it wears off soon.. so i can go bck to my life... im sorri about wad ive said above and i think i may regret writing this ltr.. budden.. now i feel realli shitty.. maybe i'll come delete dis post ltr.. ahh wells.. todae, i hate myself..