Benj-

lately all my posts have included plenty of self destructive phrases, and full of negativity.. ahhs, the wonders of the human mind which tries to reach out for pity and at de same time wallow in self pity... cant believe i let myself degrade to that sort of state. but the worst is over, time to move on, let bygones be bygones, and move on.. easier said den done though but tats no reason to not try.. hahas.. =)

the past few daes of being sick has clearly been a most suffering time, hahas, glad i finalli recovered about 90%, no more throat pain le.. but stil abit tired.. hahas.. now its time to replace de stolen time, i have to mug while others are restin, well, my fault, but no matter.. juz do my best ba. =))

watched de farewell video clip of nurul, cud tell she was at a loss for words, and clearly disappointed.. i mean i dun blame her, but i still think she has a great voice, and its not time to give up on her dreams yet.. to be in de top 6 is alr no small feat, so keep happi! happi goober noodle nurul maideen.. ahahas

hahas, glad that during my most "throat slicing" period there has been three ppl hu were there to spent it wif me, thx cheryl, clara, yong jian, appreciate it lots.. u guys make daes much better. thankew alls!!! hahas.. sumtimes i keep forgettin to appreciate the fine things in my life, and i keep focusing on wad i dun hv.. damn.. its a bad habit.. and i so nd a attitude readjustment. lols.

my lord, im sorry for havin say sum terrible things to u, plz forgive this bludy retard u love, and forgive this irritatin ass**** hu never fails to disappoint u.. im soo terribly sorri, i dunno why its so hard to practice self control, so my lord, i dun want to run my life animore.. im gonna leave evrything in ur hands and i noe its gonna turn out right.. wif u at my steering wheel, i noe i hv nth to wry about.. my lord, chain me if u hv to stop me frm interfering.. hahas.. kaes.. love ya my lords.. awaez and 4eva

tmr is c.h... so afraid.. but heck, juz do wad i can.. no regrets, no stress, juz benj doing his normal stuff.. cept.. it WIFOUT A TXTBOOK!!! EEEEEEEeeee....

loves!!! [aollovin]