Benj-

on the train back home i was just thinking about how hopelessly useless and unimaginably pathetic i was. but since the crisis has been averted then i'll postpone thinking what a loser i am.

hahahaha

today was rather traumatising. all the things about parents and children, dying on birthdays and such has really left me quite perturbed and disorientated. i keep thinking how i would feel if i were in their places.

i don't think i can handle that sort of hurt.

yeah, come to think of it, i can't live without my family. i love them so much. my life would never be as wonderful as it were now if anyone wasn't around.

damn, so cheesy. but yeah, i love them so much

and my friends as well. i wouldn't know what being happy meant if i never had them.

i'm so afraid that something will happen in korea or along the way there. i don't know why, but i just have this ominous feeling that i won't make it back. and it doesn't help when i've been getting nightmares these few nights.

i don't think i could bear losing any of my loved ones and my friends.

it's very frightening

my lord, would it be too much to ask if i wanted to live just a little longer?