Benj-

IS THIS THE END OF THE LINE?

i think the only good thing that came out of work so far is my ability to type faster without looking at the keyboard. and considering how they say ns is a freaking waste of time (i agree), it is something, i guess.

so much for self comfort.

everyone's moving on. some of them are going to Us to study, some are doing NS in some remote part of the island and some are retaking As. the buffer period, or the period of transition from aft As is finally over and its time for people to lead new lives.

am i afraid? afraid of losing touch with them? afraid that they will forget me? or afraid that they get better friends and leave me behind? yes, i am. i am very afraid indeed. not forgetting i have self esteem and paranoia issues which rly doesnt help my case.

but when it comes down to it, do i want my friends around simply to fulfil my needs or do i want them around because i love them and their company? i dont know. being a very selfish person, i really cant tell. the only thing i am sure of is the sadness i feel. sad because i think back and i know things will never be the same again. but did i cherish it when i had it? i think i did, because i look back and i rmb how happy and thankful i was for having these awesome group of friends. esp a special few who always made it better than best.

shit. this is some emo stuff. hahaha.

Will we be friends when we grow
old? is this the end of the line?

I hurt with you I love with you
the world just seems to get
in our way
Is this the end of the line?

Oh please don't leave me
Don't let your heart let go
We'll find a way
The journey has only begun
Is this the end of the line?
Oh yeah, oh
Is this the end of the line?
If you leave I'll follow
don't let your heart let go
We'll find a way
the journey has only begun
Is this the end of the line?
Is this the end of the line?

what a perfect song to match my mood.

these few days i have been telling myself; dont think so much and dont worry so much about the future. come what may. the Lord has his plan for you and everything happens to complete your life's journey. things that are meant to be will always be and on the contrary, things that are not suppose to happen will never happen.

it helps. for a while or when im caught up in work with nearly no time to think about anything else. but when im on my bed, lying down, doing nothing, i cant help but think about all my friends seem to grow more and more distant.

):

there is no help for it. life will throw all kinds of things in your way. nice things, pleasant things, happy things, delicious things and sad things, horrible things, frightening things. and good or bad, you can only suck it in.

so right now im going to suck it in and deal with it. if life has to be shit, it will be. but one day, it will get better again. im sure it will