Benj-

trust me when i say i love my friends. because i honest to goodness, really really do love them like many many times over. and ive always said this, they are like my extended family.

but like all families, there are always problems. there will always be times when we are unhappy with one another, things that we dont like about one another and even times when we dislike one another.

times like yesterday. honestly i am upset with the fact that i had to single handedly prepare 12 person's share of food. i had to shop for it alone, find a way to bring it back alone and season the food alone. not only that, i had to pay for everything including his presents. my 4 digit bank account has drastically dropped to a low 3 figure over a period of 2 weeks. also staying one of the furthest, carrying the food around has been no joke as well. and i know its my fault i didnt book the pit but when you have so many on your to-do list, one of them is bound to slip somehow.

and its ok, those of you who are reading this, are the few that have always tried to make my life better and ensure that im not being ... too available. lol, for lack of a better phrase. and i truly undst that some of you have financial difficulties so its rly ok to just kiv it. but when you do feel like you can then just hand me the money. because its not so big an issue for me. its only because of the fact that i think i have already 'given' out 300 or more when it comes to cels and outings. and its starting to feel a little weary.

but there are those who sometimes i feel, completely oblivious to all these. to them its just, i'll sit back and enjoy the fruits of someone else's labour. just wait to be served, do whatever hell i like as long as im happy, u're unhappy? i dno or i just dont care.

yes, there are always times like this.

i dno whether to blame it on my poor planning skills, my inability to just hold it all in and just tahan or simply im a selfish ass who likes my effort to at least be appreciated.

but after all that's said and done, 2 mths later when my bank accnt is more full and im not tired as hell, im gg to do the same thing again. why? because i just love my friends because i like them to enjoy without exerting themselves, because i like it when they are out having fun, celebrating bdays, meeting up etc etc. its all worth it to see the smiles on their faces what.

then what am i complaining about now?

i know. because not everyone bothers to make an effort to at least appreciate.

which bothers me as hell.

anw thank you all who did, because its you people who im really willing to work for. <3

anw i must say this, my family, is the AWESOMEST. becaue no other parents will go to jp at 12am to help ferry their son home because he's carrying so many things his arms are gg to fall off. and no dad will help you cut the beef because he sees you struggling to finish seasoning the food. and no mum will come into the kitchen and give you advice on how to make the smelly beef less smelly and more tasty. so i love them ttm. LIKE REALLY TTM.

also. stayover at carine's has been the awesomest. ive been spending alot of time with the two of them and its been one hell of a wonderful experience. laughing until our stomach aches and camwhoring until we sweat. LOL cant wait for another similar experience. sucks that yizhen wasnt there. nvm, chalet soon ok! but i wont book anything until i get the money. lol