Benj-

i still laugh when i was readin de convo hist, i laughed at de silly stuffs dat i said, and de lameo jokes dat we made... and as soon i close de hist, my tears juz flowed down... i shudnt hv went to read de hist, it juz makes it hurt more den ever...

i wonder why i did this to myself, but i knew it was de inevitable aniwae, things were alr fallin apart, i was becomin less and less impt, less and less wanted, so its better i withdraw myself now, den cont in pain...

my nightmares are beginning and my heart is startin to fail... things are becomin disinterestin, i juz wanna lie on my bed and do nth... i wud sing if i cud, but singin onli makes it worst, and sides, its hard to sing, if u keep sniffin thruout de song

the stars are rly bright tonight, as if mockin me, tellin me dat even though they are there for me to see, it is impossible for me to reach them...

i hate myself [benj]