Benj-

I have decided i shall not let Project Work spoil things. I mean seriously, it is not true that project work brings out someone's real character. To judge someone based on some silly, A Level subject is just plain silly, a PW score reflects our ability to work as a group, our creativity, our effort.. NOT our characters.

Now thats being judgemental. And I have been judgemental. Well, it just goes to show how much more i suck.

Dear lord, tell me how to stop judging and start loving. where's mother theresa's spirit i need so badly now?? "when you judge, you do not love" so wheres the love?? wheres my love??

i am in every aspect wrong and im still finding it so hard to change.

im sorry, im sorry to all my friends out there if i ever judge you, if i ever hurt you in any way. there is no excuse, i AM at fault. and i will try to change.. i just hope i change quickly.

sometimes doing the right thing is just so hard, its so hard to know that you are going to have to compromise your own self interests just to do the right thing. but.. that isnt reason enough to do otherwise. ahhh.. how blind i have been. how selfish and self centered.

and all thats got to change.

i believe in people's good. yet i pick on their bad.

how ironic. and hypocritical.

omg.. i think i can go on listing a million bad things about myself.

i have NO self worth.

i think im the kind of person who gets murdered and people think im on a faraway holiday in timbuktu.

lol.

i want my innocence back. even if i have to be subjected as immature, childish and retarded. i want to be naive. because naive people dont plot, naive people dont hurt others, naive people dont think. they just follow their heart, they do what their heart deems right.

so yea. i want to be naive. i dont care about reality. i really dont. to hell with it for all i care. so what if i have no money, so what if i dont have riches and a comfortable life? so what if there are no big houses and cars. i dont care.

i would rather be the poorest happiest person who brings warmth to others

then be the richest saddest person who will never know what contentment is.

so yah.

naiveity!!! here i come!!!!

hahahahas.

i think i found my problem.

X))