Benj-

firz off, wna apologise. im rly sorry george dat i caused u to b unable to eat breakfast wif de rest.. im rly rly sorri..

wah laos, i rly hate myself la

im so blessed. i rly am. i hv such indescribable frens in my life and by my side. i rly hv no idea how to thank dem for showin such care and concern for me.

yest coz i was feelin upset coz evryone was so unhappi and i wasnt able to take it. i ran away. literally. george sent me a sms apologisin and askin me to cheer up[when things were clearly my fault]. and after econs tutorial, alvin, soph and timot saw me outside de general office, and they came to hug me, asking if i was ok.

todae, angela, naz, siok xin and syafs didnt follow me and de rest for lunch, and dey saw dat i was sad so dey started shouting across dat they loved me..

den when i was followin de rez to lunch, soph and timot noticed i was quite unhappy and kept askin me nt to blame myself and to cheer up. constantly askin if i was ok..

and when i had a mild case of heatstroke todae, soph offered me drinks, oi shan kept askin me if i was fine, alvin and timot were supportin me in case i fell.

and dos wonderful ppl lyk edwina, oi shan, soph, syafs and yuzhe hu keeps typin encouragin and nice stuff on my tagboard tryin to cheer me up..

i question myself, why on earth i get such great ppl in my life. wad i hv done to deserve sucha great gift, blessing and miracle.

and i feel rly undeserving.. i rly dun deserve such ... such.. i dunno wad words to use.. ppl arnd me..

im far too fortunate.. and i rly wna let u all noe dat i rly love all of u so much.. i rly rly rly do. and i juz cnt imagine life wifout all of u. u guys are de reason dat i wna juz keep on tryin.

and i rly dunno wad i can do for u all.. i just feel so helpless when i see ppl sad.. yes im repeatin myself.. juz goes to show how clueless i am. i suck

i rly wna thank u lord, for ur grace and love. and i rly pray u will love all of dem juz as much as u love me..

i rly feel lyk i dun deserve my frens.

i hate myself and im far too lucky.

haiz.. bye for now

replies:

sophie: ure de best rbuda i eva had too!! i love U TOO!!! SO MUCH!! im juz gonna sae. i rly dunno how to not hate myself.. but i rly love all of u.. im sorri for causin u guys to worry.. i will not let it happen again, i undst when u sae everybody can hlp me solve de prob, but i rly dun wna add to all of ur probs liaos.. i still can carry it. i treat u as my bez bruda lors. and keep sharin ur probs wif me k? coz i wna hlp u all carry. i rly wan to

hantu: i rly dun think im nice.. im far frm nice.. more lyk pathetic and useless. de onli thing i'll sae nice abt me, is my frens.. coz u guys rly rawk.. and i juz dunno wad to do wifout u guys.. thx alOT. ALOT

syafs: syafs!! dun make me cry pls!! i rly love u too!! plz promise me u wun eva abandon me as a fren ok? coz ure just one of a kind.. and a fren i cant bear to lose.. im nt de wonderful one, u are. im rly sorri i din follow u all todae. im rly rly sorri.

yuzhe: heys, im ok wif u all gettin angry.. i undst, i juz hate myself for nt being able to do anithin to make u all happi. i rly hate myself for being so useless. and worst, i actualli ran away.. its juz so cowardly.. but thx alot for all de encouragin words.. it rly does hlp. thx so much

edwina: i cant bake lehs. im happi lahs, knowing i have so many frens hu love me.. im rly rly touched and happi. i juz hate myself coz i feel i dun dserve u all. i cant do anth, and i din do anth to deserve such wonderful ppl. but thx alot. i rly love all of u too

end replies

and de same goes for my old frens, i rly love all of u too. i will nv forget how much u all hlped me as well. and all of u tgth wif my new frens, all hold a special place in my heart. i love ALL of u